I’ve fallen in love before. At least I thought I had.
When I loved before it was broken by stupid mistakes, annoying habits, and time. This time with you was different though. Mistakes seemed like impossible tasks. Annoying habits caused small smiles. And time was a theory made up my man.
I watched flowers bloom in your eyes. It was spring and my favorite color became you. The sun started to shine brighter and my heart beat lined up to yours. Long days turned into short nights with you. The air grew colder and our toes intertwined to stay warm. The leaves echoed the color of your hair and I saw you everywhere I looked. Hats and scarves became everyday necessities and your sweatshirt was my blanket. The frozen air was not a match to our flame. Your voice was now my music and your arms were my home. The cold lasted too long and as the ground began to change, so did we.
The earth got warmer, but our love had gone cold. The sun beamed down too much on my body for me to notice. But you had. I saw flowers being born again, but your eyes weren’t looking at me. It’s hot out now, but my feet have never been so cold. The earth is filled with colors but I’ve forgotten what my favorite looks like.
Every day reminds me of us. My love for you hasn’t gone away. I told myself that I would love you forever. I promised you that I would love you always. As the seasons change from summer, to fall, quickly into winter and too long into spring, I know one thing won’t. Being in love with you may not be my future anymore, but loving you is. My broken heart will heal, my favorite color will return, my heart will beat individually, and my promise will still be kept. Unconditional love does not come around often, and it is not always a two way streak. Being destroyed by someone usually causes hatred. Hatred will only hurt me though, and despite me losing you, you’re the one that lost something. My love for you is unconditional and you lost the ability to feel that from me. I will care from afar. I will hope you are happy from miles away. I will think about your fears and wish them all away, and when I see a shooting star I will remember you and your dreams. You will forget about me and the way I looked at you. You will fall in love and my kiss will be a distant memory. You will delete photos and throw away gifts. But I won’t.
When the air gets cold again I will keep myself warm. When the flowers die I will remember your eyes. I will love you forever because I promised I would. I will love you forever because how could I not? You may never experience unconditional love, but I have. It’s painful, and sad. It’s frustrating, and difficult. It’s also wonderful, and beautiful. I am mad at you for kissing my scars and then making new ones. I am hurt that you forgot me as quickly as you made me feel remembered. But I am happy. I am happy I get to love you despite what you’ve done. I am happy I know what it’s like to love without limits. Even if the person I love is you.
I’ve fallen in love before. At least I thought I had. I will fall in love again and I hope I can love them like I love you.