How I Managed To Be Single For 32 Years
By Karen Y
Just to keep you in my perspective — I am not going to put out strong statements out there that will empower you that being single is just fine. In fact, I might just do the opposite. So, if you are just coming from a terrible heartbreak, or have been longing for a “normal” relationship, then I don’t think you should read on.
Don’t get me wrong. I have been in a few long relationships and you guess it right – they all ended rather badly. I didn’t have my happy ending. Being the practical and optimistic person that I am, it didn’t stop me from dating other guys. I have been actively dating for the last few years and admittedly, I was enjoying it for the time being. What I mean is I try to enjoy every moment with my date and let them enjoy too. The problem is, it only lasts for that moment. Some of them I have actually dated more than once but none of them turned into something serious or someone I could tag in Facebook that I am in relationship with.
Your confidence is at all-time low, you become this very needy and clingy girl that men avoid, and you just can’t figure out why aren’t you at least in a relationship when your high school classmate is married. The same one who dressed poorly, didn’t have friends, was not that attractive, and didn’t have an interesting attitude, and so on. And now you see her in your Facebook married to a hunk who seems to be so in love with her, and guess what? She just had twins. Great.
You suddenly think — Is the Universe trying to play some tricks on you? Do they have a plan or do they randomly pick on people? You have all sorts of questions unanswered and it just builds up your anxiety and frustration.
You try to read self-empowering books which does you good — also for the time being. You enroll in different classes, catch up with friends you haven’t seen a long time, do better at work (even get a promotion). All these boost your confidence. You seem to be the adorable person that everyone should be falling for. And they do. You are undecided who to spend your weekend with as all these men are constantly texting, asking when you are free to go out with them. Since you are not a player, you decide and choose on this one person who makes you laugh, but not the most attractive. You go on a few dates, fall in love with him and just when you are secure enough that what you have may be a little different and a bit serious, he disappears. Gone. You wonder what you have done wrong and relive every moment spent with him and you are totally dumbfounded.
And there goes your vicious cycle. How to get out? I have no idea.