9 Signs You're Just In Love With The Idea Of Someone, Not Who They Actually Are

The Pain Of Losing Something Great

Lately, I’ve been held in a ceasefire; the notion of remembering and forgetting has been plaguing my mind. Stuck in a waiting game, I’m starting to think it’s time to put a part of myself to rest, to surrender from things I have been holding onto for too long, things that are becoming too heavy. I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t afraid; it’s been a long time coming, but what if things only get colder from here. I can’t hold on for any longer.

The pain has consumed every inch of my vessel and I no longer know who I am or if I’ll be able to survive without it. Maybe what I’m missing isn’t a body beside me but a closer link to myself, yet every time I close my eyes, memories of us flood my head like the crashing waves of the ocean. A beautiful masterpiece that I can’t draw my eyes away from. A monumental moment of time, pure bliss and paradise. But, when the clock strikes midnight, the colors blur into one and sadness slowly creeps over me. It is then when I long for you, the warmth of your flesh consuming mine. Time seizes, a fatal blow to the gut knowing the remains of us will only live-in memories, that all beautiful things must die in the end.

Some days are worse than others. Sometimes grief buries itself between the crevices of my ribs and every exhale feels like a death in itself. Days when the weight of your absence cuts me too close to the bone for me to withstand. I have learned that pain has a way of building up inside of you whether you like it not, that you must feel it through to heal, yet I’m stuck wondering when this torment will be over. I know love is never easy, but they never warned you about the way it devours you whole when they leave and the pain that follows.

About the author
Writer about all things from love and heartbreak from Vancouver, B.C. Follow Karen on Instagram or read more articles from Karen on Thought Catalog.

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