10 Things That Will Happen In Your First Yoga Class

1. You will fart.

Let’s get this one out of the way. Your body is twisting in all sorts of new ways and because of that, gas is gonna escape. If you’re bent over, squeezing your abdominals with your butt in the air chances are air’s gonna come out of that butt. Hopefully, it’ll be a silent one that doesn’t smell too bad but chances are it’ll make some noise since the room is mostly quiet. Don’t acknowledge it. Everyone farts in yoga. Just be kind enough not to eat burritos beforehand and those farts will stay innocuous.

2. You will fall down.

If it’s your first class, chances are you aren’t a balance master. The other students might be able to hold poses for longer than you are because your body has never done it before. You might teeter and totter and eventually fall down. It’s okay. That’s part of yoga. No one expects you to be perfect, or graceful on your first go. If you fall, don’t get discouraged. Just get back to position and try again.

3. You will have no idea what the instructor is talking about.

The teacher will probably use words you are unfamiliar with like “vinyasa” and “tadasana.” Hopefully, they’re the kind of teacher that explains these things so you can keep up but if not it’s okay for you to look to the other students and just copy what they’re doing. You don’t have to know every keyword in your first class. You’ll hear them enough that eventually you’ll start to understand what they refer to.

4. You will be jealous.

The people in your class might be really, really good at yoga. They might have excellently toned bodies and be able to do handstands and splits. They might have balance that even a tornado couldn’t break. You will be jealous of these people. It’s only natural. They’ve probably been studying a long time though, so you shouldn’t compare yourself to them.

5. You will find someone attractive.

Yoga classes tend to attract fit, hot people. You will probably find someone or multiple people to be very sexy. Resist the temptation to hit on anyone. These people are here to work out and to meditate/find peace. They are not here for you to ogle. Focus on your third eye, not on someone’s hard glutes.

6. You will feel awkward.

Working out in a room full of strangers might be some people’s idea of hell, but just know that you only control what happens on your little mat. That’s your sanctuary. If a pose is too hard, there’s no shame in going down to Child’s Pose. If you want to stop for a second, you can. Don’t worry about other people looking at you or judging you. They are not, or at least, they’re not supposed to be. If you don’t want to be touched (sometimes the teacher comes around and moves you to correct you), tell the teacher beforehand to avoid any further discomfort. It’s all about what you’re comfortable with.

7. You will be sore.

After class, you will be sore. Though some people dismiss yoga as “lazy stretching,” you should know before you go that it is a workout. Your muscles will be doing things they are not used to doing. You will feel that shiz the next day. You’ll have worked muscles you didn’t even know existed.

8. But you’ll also feel great and awake.

Usually after a class, I feel super charged up and awake. I leave wanting to go get all my work done or eat healthier. It’s a short-term boost that let’s me move through my day in a way better mood. You may decide that a morning class works best for you, or you may decide to do yoga in the evening when you have more time. You’ll see how you feel after the first class and that will help you decide when to schedule your next one.

9. You’ll want to get a pedicure and buy yoga clothes

People’s feet will stick out to you and you might be embarrassed of your own gnarly nails. There’s a kind of fashion connected to yoga where the yoga pants, cross-back top and neat toes seem like a uniform. These things are certainly not mandatory. You can do yoga without having the latest stylish yoga clothes, believe me. You can even do yoga with dirty feet. But the culture (books, tea, music) will tempt you and you’ll definitely want to try and fit in better at the next class. (Up to you how important that is!)

10. You’ll want to go again

After your first class, if it’s a good one, you’ll definitely want to come again just to show everyone how much better you’re capable of doing. Is it wrong to be competitive in yoga? Probably. Am I? Oh definitely. TC Mark


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