I Love Men

Sometimes this is a simple thought I have: I love men. I don’t mean I am attracted to men, although that is certainly true. The thought runs deeper than attraction. I think it about men I want to sleep with and also about men I simply admire or adore in a platonic way.

So much is said about the aesthetic beauty of women — their soft curves, their hipbones, their hair, their breasts and their butts. And I can see that. I understand and appreciate the sculptures and paintings and epic poems dedicated to the female form. But often, I have these bursting artistic feelings about the men I see. I love them for purely existing, I think. I love their beauty, which is so different from a woman’s. I love their hard lines and jaws and eyes and hands.

I love the way men sit. Legs open usually, worn knees on their jeans, wallets outlined and pressed against their back pockets. They bend over and rest their arms on their thighs. Maybe they’re wearing old beige Converse sneakers and sitting on silver bleachers watching a Little League game. Maybe it’s hot outside and they run their hand through their hair and lean back, legs open, shoe rubber scuffing the bench. They stretch their arms back and take up space. They do not apologize. Men sit like they’re about to get up. They sit so their shoulders bunch and you can watch them flex and move under their shirts. They sit with their toes outward and tapping, with their knees spread, with their elbows out.

I love the way men dress. I love them in suits, shirts buttoned and crisp, ties knotted. I love them in soft, ratty T-shirts with holes in the sleeves and fraying edges. I love their dress shoes — leather and shined and at the end of their socks or bare ankles. I love a man’s bare ankle, the sliver when his pants are too short and just before it disappears into his shoe. I find that ghost of an ankle to be one of the prettiest things to look at, a secret of innocence and sex.

I love how a man’s body looks, sprawled out on top of his crumpled comforter in boxer shorts with the computer on his stomach. His face lost in thought, halo-ed by the glow of the screen and soft too — not like a woman but a different kind of softness, no matter the muscle mass or the thinness. I love a man’s arms and his hands with shorter nails, thicker callouses, lean biceps, broad shoulders. A man’s body is built. It is constructed and strong and exciting and when a man spoons up behind you, you can feel everything he has, everything he could give.

I love the way men smell. With cologne or soap, a dab and not too much, they smell like possibility and class and goodness. Without, they smell like sweat and hair and musk and everything natural, everything from when people lived outside and hunted and gathered. They smell like history and comfort and you want to bury your nose in their chest or armpit and never come out from where you’re safe.

I love men when they are touching themselves. When their eyes are closed and their hands are moving. I love the arch of their backs and the hard breath through their nostrils. I love their eyebrows screwing together and their chest heaving. I love their shaking thighs and the sharp spinal pop that comes with them. I love when their eyes finally open and their cheeks are dull pink. It’s gorgeous. It feels like watching a beautiful death.

I love their concentrated faces when they are thinking. I love how they can be the same species, the same gender of the same species and still look so different from each other. I love their facial hair. I love how they hold a beer equally to how they hold a baby. I love watching them cook or fix a pipe or clean a swimming pool or do anything manual. I love when they whisper, shrinking down from their heights into these gentle beings smoothing your hair behind your ear and kissing your forehead and asking, “Are you okay?”

I love how they are such specific creatures — fascinating and weird and gross and lovely. Just when I think I’ve got them all figured out, a man will do something fantastic and it’s back to a simple principle: maybe not of understanding, but certainly, of love. TC Mark


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  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/08/i-love-men-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex Add a comment […]

  • JM

    Le sigh….beautiful piece!

  • http://gravatar.com/onyae onyae

    I love this. Nice

  • A Girl

    This perfectly perfectly encapsulates the way I feel about men. This is exactly it. I just love that they exist sometimes because of all of these wonderful things.

  • Bmore.

    I LOVED this.

  • http://jenniferstgermain.com Jennifer St. Germain

    Beautifully written and so true.

  • leapingsweetly

    I have, at one time or another, thought every single thought you mentioned above. Especially men’s hands… never understood why they fascinated me so much.

  • Danaynay

    Yes yes yes!

  • Everyone-is-so-special-all-the-time-forever

    Love love love love.

  • L


  • http://letterstoluthien.wordpress.com BerenEstel

    Speaking as a man, it was nice to know some females appreciate males for these traits.

    Speaking as a man, the male gender disgusts me. I don’t know what you see in us. You find the ankle peep attractive? I find it the height of annoyance, to take all the trouble to dress up and then your pale hairy leg still wants to show through.

    I hate how men take advantage of women, the most beautiful and amazing creatures on the planet. I hate how they love and leave, break hearts, and somehow appeal to some dark craving in a woman’s heart for a “bad boy.” I hate how they are rewarded for their deviant behavior by some noble heart who is convinced she can fix a man.

    I hate how she’ll give everything she is to him, and then he leaves and those of us who respect, admire, appreciate, revere women for the wonder that they are get left with the broken pieces.

    Nope, I don’t like men.

    But you don’t know how happy I am to learn that you do.

  • Bets

    This is the best article I have read on here. I feel the same way… I just stare in awe of men. They a beautiful and they amazing me everyday. Thank you for this~! I wish I could stand in the street and read it to every man that walks by.

  • Ella

    Oh God this is perfect. The thing about the way they sit is something I can never explain why I love.

  • JM

    Karen, Please keep writing! I have loved both of your pieces for TC.

  • Domino

    perfectly describes my feelings towards men. i love women and i love men. but being a woman, the opposite sex just fascinates me.

  • http://twitter.com/AnaMrcnds Ana Marcondes (@AnaMrcnds)

    This is definitely one of the best articles in here. Magically written, I’ve sighed a thousand times reading it. Congratulations, keep on this level.

  • http://twitter.com/SodiumSepia Rick (@SodiumSepia)

    I’ve always felt perplexed by what women feel towards men. It is a mystery to me that anyone could look at an angular, ungraceful mass of bulk and hair and feel compelled to be smothered by that lumbering oaf.

    It’s a rare occasion that I meet another man who feels like they have any handle on what makes us attractive to women. More often, when the topic is broached, the inevitable conclusion is that our attractiveness is arbitrarily defined, and we should always feel lucky whenever our particular suite of attributes seems to mesmerize a lady, because that’s all it is – luck. I think most women would be surprised by the ubiquity of poor self esteem that half of the gender.

    Anyways, thank you for writing that. It’s rare that those of us that don’t look like Ryan Gosling get a chance to feel like we have something to offer that stems from who we are, and not what we do.

  • Anel

    omg. i’m dead. i love men so much more because of the way you have described everything i’ve felt about them.

  • Grifjdnaldnsm

    Gallery Girls.

  • Cal

    I admire you for this article. I wish more women would share these feelings.

  • http://laylawasafeverdream.wordpress.com awkwardlyendearing

    Reblogged this on Kachurai and commented:
    The most surprising thing that I’ve read in a while, that I really liked

  • breichorn

    Reblogged this on Something and commented:

  • http://coffeecolouredheart.wordpress.com kahawafreak

    Reblogged this on coffeecolouredheart.

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    […] Original is here. I Love Men […]

  • thekekeslider

    Reblogged this on I'll Bring Home The Turkey and commented:
    As one commenter states, “Thank you for this. Sometimes men need to be reminded that they’re more than just potential rapists.”

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