It will start slowly — telling your friends he lives with his parents “but…” or that he’s “usually not like this” or that he’s “working on quitting” whatever gross habit you’re embarrassed that they found out about. You’ve done the mental work of making yourself think he’s someone worthy of falling for, and you won’t notice the mirage until you find yourself always explaining away his faults.
You can see these things so easily when it’s someone else. Of course no one should put up with a guy who leads them on or is vague about the future — or who never quite seems as invested in the relationship as you are. Of course you shouldn’t give your heart to the guy who always leaves a mess at your place while you clean up at his, or who makes sex all about you going down on him or who seems to be most passionate in life about video games. You deserve someone who is exciting. You deserve someone who is excited about a future with you.
Don’t date a guy you have to make excuses for. This guy is just going to turn into the ex you’re embarrassed you dated for as long as you did.
Run away from him. Run away from settling. Run away from a life of wondering what would have happened if you would have waited for someone else. If you think this is the only guy you can get right now, break up with him anyway. Spend all the time and money and energy you would have spent on him on yourself. Become the person you believe in — become the person people can’t say no to.
Find a guy who makes you want to brag about him. Date someone you can’t shut up about. Catch yourself smiling when you talk about him with your friends. Wait until you meet someone who is better than you would have thought to ask for, not because he’s perfect, but because he’s perfect for you.