We have all seen it, probably too many times sprawled across Facebook and Instagram “I have the best boyfriend ever!” accompanied with a picture of a dozen red roses, and Taylor Swift tickets.
By all means this 100 percent makes your boyfriend the best, because he followed your instructions to buy you tickets to a concert he would rather die than attend. He is the best because he did exactly what you wanted him to do, exactly as you told him. He listened… like a dog.
Who wants a dog as a boyfriend? No one.
A man is what all of you fabulous, hardworking, independent, incredible women should want. You shouldn’t have to deliver instructions and you shouldn’t have to expect roses twice a year on Valentine’s Day and your birthday.
Flowers, if they are even something you admire, should come without purpose and without needing a reason. An argument is not an occasion for flowers, although our twisted society has made it acceptable for a man to be wrong and use flowers as his apology rather than the words “I am sorry.”
And that is why I chose to date who I date. He sends flowers from three states over, just because. He comes into my house when I am not home (it’s not creepy I swear) and puts flowers in my room, just because.
He is a great boyfriend.
But do you know what else makes him so great? He says no to me. A word that women often feel means they are dating the wrong person, or is too controlling for them. Well ladies, you’re wrong. Sometimes no is the right answer.
No you do not need another Michael Kors bag.
No we cannot go out to breakfast, lunch AND dinner 7 days a week.
No you should not wear that skirt that shows your butt.
The list goes on, but it a healthy and helpful way.
What made me originally drawn to my current boyfriend was in fact his ability to say no to me, something I was not used to. Now it is something I appreciate and I look to him for guidance in making decisions.
Every relationship has some sort of a routine. Whether it is seeing one another on long weekends, or date night every Saturday, it’s still a routine and to you it’s still special. Hopefully whatever special routine you have is what makes your relationship great and what makes you want to brag.
My brag is this: my boyfriend lays in bed with me at night until I fall asleep (I usually have trouble sleeping), he gets me a glass of water from the filter on the fridge downstairs, lowers the volume on my TV, often puts my nerdy retainer in my mouth, pulls up my covers and kisses me goodnight. He then walks to his car and drives home. This may seem unimportant, unromantic or just basic. But to me it is special. He takes his time to do everything for me and most importantly he makes me feel safe and special.
Your boyfriend’s job is to make you feel good. To everyone that is different, but you should glow when he looks at you, and feel all the cliché warmth when he holds you.
I’m sure many women will disagree, or still consider themselves special to get a cliché bouquet of flowers on February 14 (just like millions of other women), but just think next time you post about “the best boyfriend ever.” Think about how creative and unique whatever it is you are about to shameless brag about? Is it really special, or just another cliché?
And seriously… stop posting pictures of your flowers and concert tickets.