Happy birthday to my lord and savior, Kim Kardashian! Kim turns 35 today, and to celebrate I got to do one of my favorite things: prowl her Instagram. Even though Taylor Swift might have more followers than Kim (for now), there’s no doubting that Kim is the One True Queen of the platform. She made herself, her family, her glam team and even Instagram itself more popular simply by posting her life in snapshots.
So in honor of KiKi’s big day, let’s count down some of her best Insta-moments.
Kimmy goes to the farm
Kimye and Marc Jacobs’ fave photographer Juergen Teller visited a farm to do a sort of awkward photoshoot of Kim in a beige bodysuit and grandma stockings. It’s not my favorite Kim shoot, but I do identify with it every time I pose with one of my own tractors.
The definition of #squadgoals
The sisters, minus Kylie (who was modeling in the show), gathered to snap this photo with the cutest Kardashian, North, at Kanye’s NYFW show.
This 4th of July photo gets a place on this list only because it’s so unlike Kim. Who are you, Kimberly Noel? Who dressed you in this outfit?
Famous butts united
J. Lo is Kim’s idol, and this photo of the two during the Met Ball was taken by an admiring Kanye.
In case you’re not sure what to be for Halloween, you could be super meta and be Kim K dressed as Anna Wintour?
North was baptized in Jerusalem because she is pretty much Jesus. KiKi even dressed to the theme with a Mary-esque ensemble.
I got it from my mama
Kris is Kim’s hero, no doubt about that. The two are all over her Instagram, but I like this image of old-school Kris in a pink swimsuit that was later stolen by Kylie and ‘grammed again.
On that note…
Since we’re talking about Kris, we can’t forget this photo. Incredible. Classic. Thank you for giving life to Kim, Kris.
One for the cheap seats in the back
Surprise! It’s a boobie shot!
This outfit (crop top, pencil skirt, trench) has become synonymous with Kimmy, and duplicated everywhere. She’s still wearing a variation during her second pregnancy.
North’s first fashion magazine
Baby North got her start modeling early, and styled by Carine Roitfeld no less.
Glam in progress
Kim and her sisters aren’t shy about sharing the nitty-gritty of their complex glam routines. Kim and Joyce show off what her contour looks like before all that blending.
Should I get bangs?
Even KiKi isn’t immune to the eternal “Should I get bangs?/I hate my bangs” struggle. She chopped some while pregnant with North, then regretted it.
The Kardashian/Jenner family LOVES a good birthday collage. Kim likes to post ones where she looks amazing and the birthday person in question looks just OK. I get it, Kim – I do the same shit. I love this one for Khloe because it’s full of old-school gems from their pre-fame days.
Kanye gave Kim this little kitten, Mercy, when they were dating. She was so cute, cute enough to make the Kristmas Kard, but Kim was allergic and had to give her away. Then she died.
This photo of Nori in a mini fur coat and kitty shoes gave the Internet a heart attack with its cuteness.
I don’t think Kim and Blac Chyna are friends anymore.
When children pose as Kimye, Kim always posts them to Instagram. This one is particularly adorable. Can you imagine having your photo on Kim’s Instagram when you’re six years old?
The family that wears matching sneakers stays together, didn’t you know? How cute are those teeny ones for Nori?
Kimmy & Caitlyn
Kim has been super supportive of Caitlyn. She’s even here to help her take the perfect selfie.
North is not impressed
Kim loves posting silly photos of Nori caught by paps and captioning them “mood.” This is one of my favorites.
I love when Kim posts generation photos of herself, North, Kris and Grandma MJ. In my opinion, Grandma MJ should be far more famous as she’s responsible for these flawless genetics. Kris Jenner’s in-house photo booth gets a lot of love on the Kardashian Instagrams, and everyone from Ryan Seacrest to the Balmain designer has made an appearance in it.
Boots with the fur
Kim posts the sweetest Father’s Day Instagrams for both Kanye and her own father, the late Robert. I love this one because Nori is in it, duh.
Kim + Paris 4Ever
Former besties Kim and Paris Hilton reunite in Ibiza. Paris is probably pissed that Kim’s more famous than she is now, since Kim got her start trailing Paris around. Paris, you still have at least 10 more fragrances than Kim does.
Kim posts lots of throwback images, usually to comment on how skinny she was at the time. I hate when she does that! You look amazing, Kim, no matter your size. Anyway, this is the ULTIMATE throwback: Kim, in a pale pink Juicy suit, atop her Range Rover.
North West’s birth was a Big Deal. Kim had a lot of issues during her pregnancy and North was born early. We didn’t see her for a long time, but don’t worry – she made her entrance and the world “ooh”ed and “aww”ed.
WOW. That’s all I can say about this sister snap. WOW. I miss you, mid-aughts.
I have this photo printed out. That’s all.
Can you imagine if these were your parents? These impossibly glamorous people?
Kim goes platinum
Inspired by Joyce, the Kardashian’s fave makeup artist, Kim went platinum. She soon learned that having nearly-white hair is a bitch to maintain and went back to black, but it was cool while it lasted.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Kim’s mommy moments are always adorable and I can’t wait for Baby West to come along for even more posts like these.
The wall of the roses
When your husband sends you a wall of roses, what else do you do with it? You put on a gown and have a photoshoot.
And the number one moment…
The greatest day on earth
Kimye’s wedding day photo got 2.4 million likes, and for good reason. It’s the uniting of two titans, two powerhouses, two souls that were fated to be together. Kris Humphries who? First husband guy who? Kim and Kanye were meant to be together. This was the most-liked photo on the ‘Gram til Kendall beat it. I know it’s cliché to post this as her best moment, but truly, it was. It’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.