Here’s what you should have in the new year.
You should have everything you need, but not everything you want. Life’s no fun when you’re not wishing for something.
You should have pitfalls and blessings. You should have a day where you eat nothing but candy, or red wine, or oranges, or whatever you dream up to consume.
You should have dishes that accumulate in your sink because you’re too busy being wonderful, or having a wonderful time.
You should have starlight, moonlight, air that smells like fresh snow so bright and clean. You should have the crackle of a bonfire playing in your ear. You should have pop songs on the radio, low.
You should have something that thrills you, deeply, to the bone.
You should be afraid – really afraid, the kind that drops your heart down to your toes and ping-pongs it back again a few times. You should learn to handle this deep kind of fear, conquer it, accept it. You should learn what scares you.
You should shed tears and laugh until your muscles hurt.
You should spend all day in bed with books and boys and cats. You should hunker down for winter, or refuse to fold to its chill and instead go out as if it were summer. You should get runs in your stockings and mess up your hair.
You should tell the people you love that you love them, often. You should do that one better and show them.
You should have moments where you feel totally perfect in your own skin. And you should have moments where you hate yourself. But the former should always outweigh the latter.
You should give yourself over to someone else, or to a feeling, a moment, a kiss, a story – anything. Surrender.
You should cut ties with anyone who is bringing you down, or making you feel less like yourself and more like some sad stranger you don’t know. Don’t waste your time. You can be sad when they leave you for good, but you’ll learn that it’s for the better.
You should have late nights and early mornings and all the sleep you need. You should have someone deliver you McDonald’s while you’re still fighting your way out of nightmares. You should have a mimosa or five with your best girlfriend and sit at your brunch table for hours and not feel guilty about it. You should buy something you really, really want, something expensive, and then never wear it or use it.
You should have slow dances. Slow dances are still thrilling past middle school, you know.
You should be more giving, kinder, happier, less focused on what other people think and more preoccupied with creating a fulfilling life for yourself. You are your own best investment, so take care of yourself. You shouldn’t waste time making lists of bullshit resolutions you’ll never care enough to complete, but instead make a conscious effort to be a better, more fully-realized person every day. You should have it all.