In preparation for my golden birthday on Nov. 27 – oh, and a little holiday called Thanksgiving – I’m being That Girl and expounding my questionable knowledge upon you. Twenty-seven years is a long time to live and learn – at least it feels like a long time – and so, without further blabbing, here are 27 things I’m thankful for this holiday season!
1. Lycra. I am not my best self without my Lululemon leggings. (They call it “Luon” or whatever but it’s totally Lycra.) They make me look skinner and lift my butt up more than my Kim K. squat regimen does.
2. Boots with decent tread. My Uggs do not have this and I slip-slide all over sidewalks every winter. When I can actually walk confidently I feel very secure.
3. A mom who calls me at least three times a day. Even if I think it’s annoying at the time.
4. Mascara. Can’t live without you, mascara. You are my dear friend and I’ve loved you for like 15 years.
5. SONOS. My friends bought me a SONOS music system for my birthday and the fact that I can play George Jones from the bathtub never ceases to be magical.
6. The Kardashian Instagram accounts. I follow them all. Rob too.
7. Classic country music.
8. Raising Cane’s chicken fingers. The Lord’s meal, I think. Really. I think Jesus would eat here, if only for the Cane’s sauce.
9. Single-sort recycling.
10. My badass girlfriends. Girl gangs forever.
11. Google Image search results for “Britney Spears 2003.” That’s when she was at her hottest. I’m also thankful for “Britney Spears Starbucks.”
12. Dolly Parton. Everyone ought to be thankful for beautiful, loving fairy godmother Dolly. Also, I’m thankful for Dolly’s book program; she gives lots of books to children all over the U.S.
13. My popcorn air-popper. I have no idea how old this thing is and I live in fear of it a) short-circuiting and starting a fire and b) shooting me in the eye with an errant hot kernel. But I still cherish it more than almost anything I own. Popcorn for dinner once a week is a treasured tradition.
14. Perfume. It’s my one true love. You should see my stash.
15. Twitter. Because you make friends and even find boyfriends on it if you’re lucky.
16. The “estate jewelry” section on Etsy. Now instead of obsessing about exes I obsess over antique fine jewelry. Am I Elizabeth Taylor yet?
17. My friend Nora and her blog, myhusbandstumor.com. It makes me grateful to know her every single day, and hope that one day I can be as eloquent, honest, graceful and kind as she is. Everyone should read it.
18. Bumble and bumble Hairdresser’s Oil shampoo and conditioner. Again, this is magical stuff that will transform your hair.
19. MAC red lipstick. I’ve tried all kinds and I’m pretty sure that MAC does the best ones.
20. Videos of Paris Hilton cuddling exotic baby animals. Homegirl just hung out with baby lions and tigers for an afternoon. NOT FAIR.
21. Every single photo of North West.
22. Dairy Queen. God’s gift to the world. I’m so glad New York finally got one so my NYC-based friends can still get their fix.
23. American Apparel’s thigh high socks. They stay up even on my meaty Midwestern thighs AND they’re super warm and sexy, too!
24. @PreSchoolGems, @HistoryinPics and @TweetsofOld on Twitter. They always make me laugh and spark my curiosity.
25. Lefse. The crowning glory of the North Dakotan diet. I like mine with butter and brown sugar, which is controversial.
26. YouTube. Because sometimes you want to watch the entire Gwen Stefani videography, and then you take a wrong turn and end up with a bunch of Bernadette Peters videos recommended to you. Wait, but that’s not a bad thing.
27. My cashmere beanie. I swear it’s warmer than any other hat I own. One day I’ll wear all cashmere from top to bottom.