You know what is the greatest item of clothing in the entire world?
Let me count the ways I love my jumpsuits. I have four now, and the collection is expanding at a rapid rate.
1. You save a good 20 minutes in the morning getting ready for work. It’s one piece. There’s no hemming and hawing over what to wear, because all you do is step into it, zip/tie it and go. BAM.
2. They manage to feel both retro and modern at the same time. They can skew ‘70s, if you wear them with a bell-bottom silhouette, or ‘40s. Or totally 2014.
3. The styling possibilities of a basic black tank jumpsuit are endless. I have this one from Michael Stars and it’s super-soft jersey. Sometimes I wear it with an army-style jacket and black strappy heels for a utilitarian look, and other times I go super casual and throw a flannel or a sweater over it with flip-flops.
4. You can buy jumpsuits in all sorts of different fabrics! I have a silk one from Yumi Kim that is perfect for hot, sticky days, a sequin one from Free People and a ‘70s polyester one. All three have their uses.
5. Jumpsuits offer you a little more coverage than their sister, the romper. If you’re freaked out by the idea of looking like a little kid, try a jumpsuit. It has pants.
6. They’re available literally ALL OVER right now. Jumpsuits have been super-popular this season. You can get them at vintage stores, thrift stores, H&M … Walmart probably even has them.
7. No matter your shape, you can find a jumpsuit that flatters you. I like mine to be sleeveless and halter-necked, or a V-neck silhouette. A friend of mine prefers hers to button down the front. They come in all sorts of lengths, too. Certain jumpsuits cinch with a tie at the waist, others are gathered. You can have whatever you like.
8. You can pretend to be all sorts of characters in your jumpsuit, like a Charlie’s Angel or April O’Neill from “TMNT.”
9. The formal jumpsuit is such an unexpected silhouette at an event like a wedding or, in the case of celebrities like Beyonce, a red carpet. It looks chic and effortless. Leave the frilly dress behind and try a jumpsuit.
10. Cropped ones mean you can wear some killer heels.
11. None of that “chub rub” we girls with thighs get while wearing dresses – jumpsuits are here to save us from that!
12. They’re the perfect mix of boyish and feminine. I mean, you COULD ride a horse in one or climb a fence if you needed to.
13. It’s one easy piece to pack. You can take it on the boat, out to dinner, out dancing, to the park … a basic black jumpsuit goes EVERYWHERE you need to be.
14. Boys are both perplexed and intrigued by them. They’re like … “Hmm, what is UNDER there? How do I get that off?” And then they think of sex. (Thanks, Cher Horowitz.)
15. A perfectly-fitted jumpsuit makes you look way cooler than all the other girls in their sundresses and fake J. Crew bauble necklaces. You’re practically an off-duty model!
The only minus?
It really, really sucks to pee in a jumpsuit.