How To Adopt The Beauty Routine Of Your Favorite Tragic Heroine

There’s something so fascinating about a doomed heroine. I don’t know any girl who wasn’t obsessed with, say, Edie Sedgwick at the age of 17. With the advent of Tumblr, I can only imagine said teenage girls have an even more romantic idea of the mess that was Edie. I definitely did. I hold these tragic figures dear to my heart, and though it sounds a little shocking and tasteless, I often wonder what their favorite beauty products would be if they were still around.

Amy Winehouse

Dutourdumonde Photography / Shutterstock.com">Dutourdumonde Photography / Shutterstock.com
Dutourdumonde Photography / Shutterstock.com

Etat Libre d’Orange Jasmin et Cigarette would have been perfect for Amy Winehouse. It’s a bit retro with a heavy jasmine note that both seduces and bites, but the tobacco beefs it up with an almost masculine backbone. And whenever I slick on one of Urban Decay’s Revolution lipsticks, particularly reddish-pink Catfight, I think of Amy Winehouse, her thick cat-eye wings and that immortal beehive.

Janis Joplin

Public Domain
Public Domain

Janis wasn’t known for her beauty routine, but she didn’t have to be; she had that killer voice. She would have kept her long, wavy hair in check with Not Your Mother’s Beach Babe sea salt spray, don’t you think?

Anna Nicole Smith

Featureflash / Shutterstock.com">Featureflash / Shutterstock.com
Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

I actually take what I call an “Anna Nicole bath.” The ingredients? One LUSH Sex Bomb Bath Bomb, which is loaded with aphrodisiacs like jasmine, and one Creamy Candy Bubble bar. I get pink-tinted water that doesn’t stain my tub, a delicious blend of scents and mountains of bubbles. If that’s not suited for Anna, Anna, Glamorous Anna, then what is? Another Anna-approved product? Pilar & Lucy’s To Twirl All Girly perfume, which is the sweetest, most unapologetically feminine gardenia.

Edie Sedgwick

YouTube
YouTube

You know Edie would be buying false eyelashes in bulk if she were able to pop into a Ricky’s or a Sally Beauty Supply. Or she could fake it with the masses of great mascaras that were a rarity in the ’60s and early ’70s. Edie was known for her crazy-long lashes, which is why I would steer her towards Lancome Hypnose Drama mascara, my favorite for fat, party-girl ready lashes. And the tube looks luxe, which is appropriate for a trust fund baby of Edie’s caliber. Edie would’ve worn Tom Ford’s Black Orchid, a now-legendary bombshell of a scent that renders its wearer absolutely unforgettable. Andy Warhol would’ve stolen a spritz too.

Sharon Tate

Eye of the Devil
Eye of the Devil

The most beautiful woman in the world was gone far, far too soon at the hands of the Manson family. I consider Sharon to be one of my Big Three beauty icons, and I know she would’ve loved Byredo’s Gypsy Water, a lightweight scent of bergamot, amber and pine. It would have reminded her of her getaways to Big Sur. The inspiration for Malibu Barbie would have gone crazy for Maui Babe tanning lotion to accelerate her beach bunny glow, and to maintain her beautiful beachy blonde hair, only Oribe’s Apres Beach texturizing spray would do.

Anne Boleyn

LUSH Lord of Misrule bath bomb is a limited-edition product but get this – it turns your bathwater blood red. Appropriate for a queen who lost her head, right? Was that tasteless? It probably was. Another product Anne would’ve lost her head over? (LOL.) Lipstick Queen’s Medieval lip tint, which turns your lips the perfect kissable, subtle red. It would never have rubbed off on King Henry’s face and given hint to their affair. It would suit Anne’s pale complexion perfectly, as it’s universally flattering.

Jean Harlow

Public Domain
Public Domain

Some people blame the original blonde bombshell’s death on the chemicals applied to bleach her hair that sparkling platinum. In the ‘20s and ‘30s, they used a potent combination of peroxide, ammonia and Clorox. Yeah … not healthy. Her official cause of death was kidney failure at the tender age of 26 in 1937. If Jean were around nowadays, her trademark hair color would’ve been a lot easier to maintain. I know she would have kept Clairol Shimmer Lights in her blonde arsenal just as I do; the violet tones of the shampoo cancel out any pesky yellow brassiness. Oh, and she would totally have purchased lots of NARS’ Harlow lipgloss, if only because the now-discontinued silvery shade was inspired by her.

Bonnie Parker

Public Domain
Public Domain

Clyde’s lady would DEFINITELY have worn By Kilian’s Back to Black perfume, a lush blend of honey and tobacco. Granted my idea of Bonnie stems mainly from the Faye Dunaway portrayal in the movie “Bonnie & Clyde,” but just the same I think this gunslinging girl would have tapped into her bad-girl ballsiness with a perfume like Back to Black. But then again, you probably don’t want to get too associated with a signature scent when you’re a bank robber. TC mark

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