Live-Action Squirrel Erotica

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Two squirrels skip together between the bushes, Squirrel B is following behind Squirrel A’s ass. Every once in a while they will hop on each other.

(I’m not sure if they are two males competing for a hidden female, participating in homosexual ritual, or perhaps even something more complex.)

Squirrel A just jumped vertical and then Squirrel B jumped vertical. My first interpretation was “playful mimicry.”

Now they are camboodling, groping everywhere, 60 milliseconds.
One of the squirrels has yelped.

I assumed, at first, Squirrel B would be the yelping one because I interpreted the mimicry as “submissive,” but it could easily be Squirrel A that has yelped. In pain, ecstasy or both?

I feel like they are going to fuck in about one hour.
Squirrel B has mounted Squirrel A.
Squirrel A got away, running down the fence, wagging a thick, wide tail.
Are they both males? Sometimes my male cats fuck each other?

More “camoodling.”
Another yelp.

They’re on a lower branch and now they’re on the ground again. Obstructed by a lovely ROSE BUSH!

Sounds like slow, sensual groaning going on, not necessarily yelping…
Now they are just playing on the branches, like children on a playground, it seems.

I can see them humping. Maximum two seconds.
The squirrel, which I’m guessing is Squirrel A, yelps and then races upward onto a branch.

Now here comes a new squirrel on stage right. Squirrel C seems to be watching them from above, and he is wagging a thick tale.

Squirrel (A) can still be heard yelping.

Silence now. I feel like the couple has sensed the presence of Squirrel C. What potential is there for disruption?

Are they considering a three-way?
Is the Squirrel C considering stealth and rape?
Will there be a battle?

Maybe they finally notice me, the human, eyeing them so hard?

There is some human life sandwiching them from the other side too now. A woman opened a door.
Humans. So parasitic.
Jets flying above. Highways can be heard. Construction beeps.

I see a black cat. It is looking at me from behind the bushes, and this distance and sustained eye contact is entertainingly strange.

Squirrel C is running and stops under the deck beneath me.

The squirrel lovers are vibrating and flapping their thin tales in unison, directed at the cat. They are making staccato groan/growls in synch, and the cat…

The cat tiredly saunters away, I imagine, as if “sad” to be domesticized with its freakish bell and collar.

I need to get off of the computer now. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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