That Girl. The one you don’t want to be. The one you hear about in stories told by friends. The girl who makes stupid decisions and stereotypically falls into all the bad habits that could possibly ever be attributed to a girl. The dumb, ditzy, crazy, psycho girl. The emotional girl. The one who lets things get to her.
You know when you’ve turned into her. Guilt and anxiety linger just under the surface. You know when you are about to make a mistake, when you are about to do something that is going to make you feel worse instead of better. You know that looking at his email, just because you’re curious and you know the password, will make you feel terrible. You know looking at several different social apps will only give you the tiniest snapshot of a life. You do it anyway.
You’re the girl who can’t let go. Can’t move on.
Whose life revolves around a boy that she’s no longer seeing. A guy who has already found someone new days, weeks, or months later. A person who you don’t even want to be with anymore but who you used to know like the back of your hand.
It’s even harder when you act “cool” about the breakup, the relationship, all of the time you were together. It’s worse when everyone thinks you’re “normal” before you start acting like that girl. People are surprised and try to be supportive. Friends say “we’ve all been there” or “I would have looked at his Facebook messages too if I were in your situation.” But there is no excuse for your behavior.
You are obsessed. You are broken.
That girl is just who you are and have always been.
That girl is anyone who has been hurt. Embrace it.
That’s the only way to move forward.