Let’s be honest. Not all couples are perfect and “healthy.” Relationships can be boring sometimes. Some other times it is boring. Especially when you’re living with your significant other. Now you know what your SO’s routines are. You know what time he sets his alarm and exactly how many times he will hit the snooze button. You know how his farts smell like – there’s no way out for him when that particular odor is in the air. He can never blame the dog anymore. There are no more surprises.
“Healthy” couples may then find it fun to list the things that all healthy couples do, none other than to, well, spice things up. Also to add up to the validation everyone needs when they’ve been in a relationship for a relatively significant amount of time – as if saying, “We need to renew our vows.”
Healthy couples tend to do a lot of things that differ from their “unhealthy” oppositions. From where I stand, a member of a healthy couple observing other healthy couples, here are some more things I suggest:
1. Shouting “I hate you!” at the top of your lungs
Hatred is a very human feeling and shouting is a common way to express your feelings. All human-being must have done this at least once in their lives. The louder, the better. The more your housemates could hear it from their own rooms when they’re having sex, the better. Fights are very common, especially when you’re getting married. No couple can ever get enough fights.
2. Complaining over exes who obviously couldn’t care less
I’ve heard enough “Yeah it was his crazy ex who wouldn’t stop texting him” and “That girl just came to him with a flirtatious smile and said hi when it was so obvious I was there next to him” to come to this point. That girl was probably just a girl he knew but of course she was probably more than that. I mean, can you imagine? She probably still has fantasies about her and your boyfriend. The ring on your finger obviously doesn’t matter anymore.
3. Complaining about dirty dishes to their SO; SO complains to housemates instead of helping
Let me get this straight. We live in a society that’s still very patriarchal. This means women do the dishes and men sit back while waiting for a blowjob. Still when your SO is complaining about how much she has to do the cleaning-up, you have to go an confront the housemates about it. Or else Hiroshima-Nagasaki will be no more than a popped pimple compared to your woman’s rage.
4. Demanding for new things or to go shopping (in a cute way)
The woman is enraged. You have to buy her something. The woman ain’t got nothing to do at home. You have to transfer some cash for her to go shopping. The woman wants to stop smoking. You have to get her e-cigarettes or she won’t stop smoking. She probably won’t quit smoking and your minty-blueberry flavored vapor might go to waste. But hey, you give her a gift. How very considerate of you.
From where I come from, somewhere in Asia, there is a term that translates to “hungry eyes.” That means when your eyes spot something, they immediately want it – just like that blue dress I bought because I thought the color was cute but broad daylight proved differently. Same thing applies for shoes, pets, “cute plants”, and e-cigarettes. At least he paid for them.
5. Not feeding the dog
“Oh, she will do it.” “Oh, he did it.” The housemates do it. Everyday. Twice a day. Their friends also take the dog for a walk every weekend. This is where hungry eyes take you. the dog is no longer a puppy therefore no longer possesses the required ability and capacity to fill your Instagram page.
6. Taking selfies