Falling Prey To Love Vs. Falling Out Of It

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When we get into a relationship, we don’t realize that it comes along with an end. An end that can either make you or break you. Yes, you blindly fall prey to love. You fall for the affection and warmth that makes you feel better. It makes you feel wanted and desirable. This feeling can manipulate you in the nastiest ways possible. This need for attention and desire to be held by someone is fulfilling till the day you start to depend on it. And just when you think you’ve invested enough time and trust in the relationship, the ‘taken for granted’ aspect shows up. You stop doing special things and forget murmuring ‘sweet nothings’ to each other. You’re still in love but it’s the love untold and expected to be understood. So what if she dressed up for a date with you? She always does. Why should I remind her that she looks beautiful to me? So what if he takes the longer route just to drop me home? He is supposed to do so!

No one is ’suppose’ to do anything. But someone does. These gestures are everything in the initial phases and become nothing nearing the end. Unknowingly, you drift away from being the special kind. You are no more the one couple who is different from the others. At this point, only two emotions can bring back life into your relationship. Jealousy and love. Jealousy is for the evil kind. For the ones who have too big an ego to admit they need you. Love is for the subtle types. The ones who tend to surrender just for the bigger picture.

Both these emotions are triggered by one factor – loss. The minute you feel like you’re losing ground, you either spring back with expressions of love and begin to be the ‘PHASE 1’ partner again or you give in to the dark emotion of jealousy. You taunt, fight and try to prove that YOU are worth it.

In both cases, you try to prove your worth in the relationship. You try and stir love up again. You will realize that you need that person and that you don’t want to live life without them. If you lose that person, you will move on but the process is so exhausting that the thought of it makes you want to give in now instead. Moving on isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t the worst for sure. It’s just tiring and self-destructive in several ways. It’s demotivating and completely crushes your ego. So nobody wants to get there. And that is why you begin to drag your relationship so far that at one point, it feels fake.

You then stand at a point where you can choose between fake love and true distress of ending this relationship. The latter is going to happen someday for sure but you tend to push it as far as you feel like you can’t breathe anymore. Until you can’t live with the fact that it didn’t work. Until your conscience takes over your emotionally driven rash decisions and puts you back into reality. This is it. This is the end. You’re expected to start all over again but only this time, you have an option to learn from what went wrong previously. This time you get to decide how long you want to be happy in love and how much you hate the misery of losing another special someone.

That’s your day. It’s your moment. Use it sensibly. TC Mark

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