This Is How You Will Heal

I guess that this is how it goes, dealing with heartbreak the right way. You have your good days, even good weeks. You think everything is getting better, the sun shines a little brighter and all that.

But that is not how it goes.

Day always leads into night. It will crash back into you like it just happened yesterday, even if it has been months.

But that’s healthy.

If heartbreak was easy there wouldn’t be so many songs about it. Even if every day doesn’t look a little brighter, when you look back you will be able to see all the tiny steps you have made.

There is no rule book on how to get over someone. You just get up and live your own life every day until the sound of their name doesn’t hurt so badly, until there aren’t a million triggers left to pull you back down.

But be sad. Let it hurt. You can’t rush healing or it won’t come back together right. I did that with my first bad break and it’s still a raw spot that aches every once in a while.

You have to cry and hurt and spend the hardest days in bed watching romance movies and eating chocolate. Even when you are better there are going to be some things that won’t be the same. Some songs will still hurt too badly to listen too. Some places will still hold to many memories. But I have to think that’s normal.

At one time this person was your world, so of course everything will be tainted for a while by that.

Again, don’t rush it. Wait until the day that that one song comes on shuffle and you can listen with a smile on your face. It will happen without you even realizing it for a while.

Try your best not to romanticize him. Don’t sit there and fantasize what could have been or what could be. Take it one day at a time. Let the tears come until you’ve cried yourself out. Let the little things bring you joy. Fall back into Jesus. Do the things that make you happy. Love on people, let them love on you. Even if it feels like its running you dry, it’s not. It’s filling you back up I promise.

One day you will get up and look at yourself in the mirror and realize you put yourself back together on your own.

Piece by broken piece until you were whole again; better than you were before, smarter too. Too smart to fall back in to that same heartbreak when he comes back around. Because he will, oh I promise he will.

You put yourself back together with together with too much shine for him not to notice. But by this point, you realized you have moved on. And when he smiles at you and you can just turn around and walk the other way that is when you will know.

You were always enough, it was him that was not.