Don’t settle just yet because you deserve someone who is sure of you and knows what he could’ve had when he has you. Don’t make the first move, not again, because you should know that if he wanted something to happen he would’ve looked for a way to make it work and make it last.
You stopped asking questions not because you weren’t interested but because you knew he was making you question your self-worth more than find answers for the questions you already have.
It is not your fault that you never said something because you didn’t want to put him in a position where he had to lie.
He said he missed you and God knows you miss him back but love, he would’ve done something if he meant it. Words won’t take you anywhere because you deserve someone who can prove it even in the littlest way just as you would have, had he took his chance on you.
You’re too independent to risk losing yourself just to have him and that could never be wrong, the right one would love the way you wouldn’t depend on him to be happy because you are strong on your own and thinks that you’re even stronger to let him have your back sometimes.
If you wanted different things and it just doesn’t feel right to give up something that matters to you, don’t go through it because most of the time what you’re about to give it up for isn’t meant to stay.
Yes, he made you happy. He makes you happy but you’re holding back thinking, knowing that it would not last. It just doesn’t seem to last but that’s what makes happiness even more valuable. Makes you even more fragile.
But then again you were right, weren’t you? It felt like it was too good to be true and it was. He wasn’t so sure of you and neither were you of him but you were willing to compromise just to give him a chance to win you whilst denying the truth that he already had hence you turning others down.
It crossed your mind a couple of times but still you didn’t consider letting him in on how much he mattered to you because you had a glimpse of his side where he was too preoccupied to focus on just one, he could’ve had the best had he valued you and fancied how intricately exquisite you are.
You were too afraid to move up, too afraid to ruin what you already have for something that can possibly be just temporary and you blame yourself for it. You try to go through the motions to salve your own guilt by drowning yourself of thoughts and endless possibilities that never could have happened no matter how badly you wanted it to because reality is, You shouldn’t be grieving the loss of something that wasn’t even trying to earn his keep to you.
Until you woke up one day and started questioning his mixed signals, ignoring the fact that indecision is a decision too. You set everything in pause and held back because you can’t fathom thinking about what would happen if it started getting real between you two or even just for you. You had to stop because you were too afraid of falling and you knew at some point, he just couldn’t be the one to catch you.
What you needed to do was stop giving him chances because instead of trying to win you over all he ever did was confuse you more and compromise your worth. You don’t deserve that.
Now you finally let him let go of you because while you were starting to put him first, he taught you that you only came second and you know damn well you’re worth so much more than just that.
It’s not your fault, love. He lost you and the possibility of ever crossing the lines between you two not just because you now know your worth but also because if he really was meant for you, he wouldn’t have let anyone even have the slightest chance to win you.
He matters and you care but no more. You may take some time but you have your heart all on your own and know that at this very moment, it’s all yours.
Save your love for someone who deserves it, your mind for someone who is fascinated by your complexity and your heart for someone who can love you like you do. Don’t hasten to change or abandon anything that makes you you, and start recognizing the fact that you will always be perfect for the one who deserves and appreciates just how you are a balance of both cold and beautiful.
You were fighting for the wrong side and he almost had you but he didn’t for a reason.
Now start fighting for YOU.