She looks at her reflection in the mirror every morning. She watches the color in her cheeks fade, the glow fall from her skin, the light in her eyes dim, the curls in her hair fall, and the nails on her fingers break. She let’s the water run until it is sort of lukewarm and throws it on her face washing away her dreams. She stares in the mirror and puts on the fake glow, the faux cheek color, and the look alive mascara. She pulls her lifeless curls into a bun on her head, as she sighs and paints the smile on her face and heads out to play human for the day. The act of not being her true authentic self started to physically affect her, and her spirit.
She thinks she’s clever flashing that fake smile to everyone, casually waving and chatting about surface level things. Eventually, she runs out of energy to even look in the mirror every morning to add fake glow and faux color, she forgot the look alive mascara. She doesn’t care to paint the smile on her face, casually wave or even hold a conversation. Those who know her closely knew this wasn’t who she really is, they couldn’t stand to watch her fall apart any longer.
Her soul sisters, her tribe, and her circle picked her up when she finally collapses from pure exhaustion of just existing. They pull her hair out of the bun letting her mess of hair be free, they kiss her forehead and wish for her to finally live, to chase the sun until it meets the moon and then dance in the moonlight. She promises them she will live and stop existing. She promised them she would no longer silence her inner voice. She changes her name to “I am okay.”