An Open Letter To The Guy Who Ghosted Me

wendy liu
wendy liu

The message you intended to send was that you weren’t interested. And I got it. Oh, trust me… I got it LOUD AND CLEAR. I wanted to give you the chance to have the balls to tell me to my face though. Because you didn’t, I don’t have answers. I have no explanation for your behavior. I’m left to fill those voids with my own explanation.

I thought you were a really great guy. And you probably were. But this behavior tells me otherwise. How can you pull a complete 180? What makes you completely flip a switch? You see, telling me that you weren’t interested in me wasn’t the only message you sent me when you ghosted me.

The other message you sent me is that I wasn’t a human being worth any of your time. My self-worth does not depend on a man or any other person for that matter, but I would be lying if I felt my value didn’t get knocked down a few notches. “Am I really that insignificant?” I’d ask myself.

Would it really have killed you to take 15 minutes of your time to tell me it was over and maybe give a brief explanation? Would it really have set off your whole day to send me a text that just said “Hey, I don’t think this is working out”?

You ghost to avoid hurting feelings. But what you don’t realize is that it hurts more than being straight up told you weren’t good enough. Because at least then you were good enough to be told you weren’t good enough.

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. Why did it happen like this? What did I do? And I found my answer: not a goddamn thing. Not a goddamn thing is wrong with me. The fact that you would so abruptly drop someone without any explanation speaks more about your character than it does mine. The fact that you couldn’t have the decency to provide some closure and say it’s over casts a pathetic light on you.

I’m not going to chase you. In fact, I’m not going to spend one more goddamn minute thinking about you. You’re no longer anything to me. You’re just a guy I wasted my time on, who wasted his own time convincing me that he was different and better than the guys in the past. TC mark

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