6 Signs You’re In A Toxic Friendship

Flickr / Sharmaine De Bordeaux
Flickr / Sharmaine De Bordeaux

In your life, you will encounter people who will be harmful to you. They will be toxic for you. They will be a parasite in your life. Sometimes it’s blatantly obvious to see that someone is toxic. Other times you won’t know until it’s too late. If you let it continue, it will hurt you in the long run. Here are some telltale signs that you have a toxic friend in your life:

1. They never call you.

If your friend never calls you or texts you unless they want something, they are toxic. You might know exactly what I’m talking about. Taylor might say that she’ll call you later, but we both know she won’t. You’ll set aside your plans because it’s a call you know you’ll need to answer, only to be stood up. You won’t hear from her for weeks unless you text her first. But wait! She texts you first for the first time in three weeks…to ask to borrow your new boots for a date. TOXIC.

2. They are never there for you.

Remember that time that Selene’s long-distance boyfriend broke up with her and you stayed by her side catering to her every need all night long? Yeah, don’t expect the favor to be repaid. If you’re having a major breakdown or drama in your life, they can’t be counted on to answer their phones. You might text them with a “Hey, I got that job I’ve been working so hard for!” and they might respond with “What job?” as if they haven’t been listening for the past two weeks if you’re lucky, or they won’t respond at all. The same goes for breakups. You better get ready to deal with this one on your own. It doesn’t matter if you would drop everything for them…they won’t do the same.

3. They use people.

You might not feel like you’re being used, but once you see her do it to others, you begin to wonder. You notice that she talks an awful lot of crap about that new guy she’s been dating, and then you also notice that he buys her everything and pays for everything. You catch her use the phrase, “I’m not that interested in Justin, but I really need a new jacket and I just don’t want to spend that money,” then guess what? BINGO. She’s using him. Now you start to wonder if she uses you. Does she really want to be your friend? Or do you have something to offer that she wants? Pair this with #1, and she’s extra-toxic.

4. They talk mad shit about people around you.

If all she does when you get together is gossip and talk negatively about people in both of your lives, it’s a sure sign that she’s not very confident. She has nothing better to do than to tear down others, and do you want that in your life? Keep in mind that if she’s talking about people to you, you’ll talk to others about you.

5. They’ll borrow your belongings or money and won’t give it back.

Anna will ask to borrow your green leggings. A few days will turn into a few weeks, and soon it’s been months since you’ve seen them. You ask her nicely for them back, and she gets angry. She’ll tell you that she’ll get them back to when she gets around to it. You wonder when that will be. The same goes for money. You lend them money and when a time comes that you really need it back, she’ll make up excuses for why she doesn’t have it, or she’ll get mad and make you feel like you’re the nuisance for asking her about it. I mean, how dare you ask for your money back?!

6. They will guilt-trip you into doing things you don’t want to do.

You thought you learned your lesson about lending money to Sarah, but she’s giving you the guilt trip. “Fine, I’ll just be poor and drop out of school because I can’t afford to do this, this, and that.” Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. You should never let a friend make you feel as if their problem is your fault. Just because Sarah can’t budget her money properly doesn’t make you a bad friend for not spotting her, especially if you know that you’ll never see that money again. It might be hard, but sometimes the best thing to do is give them a reality check and let them learn from their mistakes. You shouldn’t have to babysit them and you’re certainly not their mother. TC mark

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