16 Empowering Lessons I Learned That Ultimately Changed My Life


This is to all the twenty something year olds that are trying to figure out life because this shit ain’t always easy.

1. It’s okay to be a little selfish

You and your happiness should be your most important aspect. It’s okay to cut people out of your life that are negatively affecting you; it’s okay to walk away because you’re simply not happy. If it hurts you more than it makes you happy, leave.

2. Never settle

This applies to every. single. thing; Friendships, relationships, your job, your health, EVERYTHING. If you aren’t happy, make it a priority to change whatever is setting you back.

3. Sometimes there isn’t any closure

Not everything has a happy ending or even an ending at all. It absolutely sucks. The hardest thing to accept is that things were left unfinished. A million “what ifs” run through your mind and a million more questions come after. Those open moments between any type of relationship, romantic or not, will drive you crazy if you let it. Have trust in what the future will bring you, and create your own closure if you have to.

4. Not everyone is on the same stage of life

Some people already have their career at 21, some are already engaged, married, have houses, kids; have their lives already built.
But some are still in college, still figuring out what their calling is, some are living with their parents, some are single, still stuck in their high school stage.
Just because someone’s the same age as you doesn’t mean you have to follow the same path. Worry about your own personal success.

5. Make peace with your past

Everyone has some sort of skeletons in their closet, or baggage they bring around with them. Let go from it! Accept whatever happened and make peace with it. Some things are not an overnight quick fix. It might take time and effort but once you can move forward from your past, the things in your future will come much easier.

6. Start a savings account

You don’t need to know what you’re saving for, but just start saving. Future you will be happy that you did when you want to get an apartment, buy a car, or take a vacation.

7. Be independent but have a good support system

Become content with spending time with yourself without isolating away from the good people in your life. At the end of the day, you’re always gonna have yourself.

8. Start a good skincare routine

It sounds cheesy, but you’ll thank your 40-year-old self that you started to use a moisturizer with anti-aging and SPF at 20.

9. Time means nothing but timing is everything

You can have stronger feelings for someone you met two weeks ago versus someone you’ve known for seven years. However, you cannot force something that isn’t meant to be. It’s the hardest thing in the world to understand why things can’t “just work out” but, I promise, you will soon understand the reason why it didn’t work out.

10. Don’t let anyone ruin your kindness

You have a big heart that lets anyone and everyone in with open arms, but that also means people have left you cold, broken, beaten up, and so much more. Don’t let the people that couldn’t appreciate your kindness ruin it for the ones that will give you so much more in return.

11. Smile more

No, not because the strange old man on the street told you to. Smile because you’re alive, because you’re beautiful, because you had your favorite coffee this morning, because you have people who love you, because you are a badass that don’t take no shit from anyone. Just smile, dammit.

12. Never apologize for being yourself

Be 100% you all the time, unapologetically. You will attract so many more positive people in your life when you don’t worry about what people think.

13. Take care of yourself

Both physically and mentally. Take care of your body and good things will follow.

14. Sometimes you have to make your own “fate”

While I believe every thing happens for a reason and the universe has it’s way of making things work, I also believe that things happen because of your own actions. So, be a little bit ballsy from time to time.

15. Never rely on anyone for emotional stability

Create your own happiness within yourself. You don’t need anyone else in your life to be happy, successful, empowered, blessed, etc. Once you find these things within yourself, you will move mountains, my love.


I cannot begin to tell you how important this is. This is the foundation in almost every aspect in your life. I’m not gonna sit here and act like this is an easy thing to do, but taking those first few steps will make a world of a difference in your life. Get yourself a copy of Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey, and have in on hand when you have one of those rough mental days. Surround yourself with empowering quotes, songs, books, people… anything and everything that will get you one step closer to loving yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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