Almost every girl has to conquer the ungodly fear of meeting and impressing the parents, and these days it seems harder to just get them to remotely even like you. It’s a complex yet important and inevitable meeting that determines not just their impression of you, but the possible fate of your entire relationship. I am really not trying to scare anyone out of meeting the parents of your love interest, even though it’s one of the scariest things besides five missed calls from my mom, so really embrace each experience and learn from it to get as much as you can out of it. Don’t worry, this can be a really positive experience for the both of you, I promise.
1. They don’t invite you to do things with the family
Most of the time, parents will ask you and your boyfriend to come along on a family movie night out or to a simple dinner at home. It really shows that they accept you into their family circle and appreciate you as a person. The worry should start if out of the blue they will no longer invite you over like they did before. If there was a normal pattern of events that you participated in that you no longer get asked to do, then it’s time to slow down and think back on something you might have said or done.
2. They talk negatively about you when you aren’t there
Unfortunately, this is something that can happen when the parents just don’t like you. Don’t let it affect you too much, sometimes people just don’t like you and that’s okay! If his parents constantly tell him to end it with you when you guys get into a tiff over something, you might need to have a sit down with him to tell him your feelings about this. You need to have a respect for his parents, but you also need to have respect for yourself. You wouldn’t let your friends talk badly about you when you aren’t there, and the same goes for anyone else.
3. They ignore you when you come over or when you’re together
This is a pretty obvious and strong sign that they really don’t want to talk, see, or hear you. You really must have done something awful for them to be acting this way to you, and this can only happen in a severe reaction. They are making it clear to you that they have no reason to talk with you about anything. Plain and simple.
4. You get “weird vibes” from them
Some girls just completely overthink everything around them, and others just have a really good sense of intuition. If you’re one of those people that stick to their gut feelings, pay attention to the vibes you are getting. If you truly believe that you are just not getting good feelings from his parents, you really need to tell him about them. If your gut feelings are usually right, then you’re probably sensing some awkward tension.
5. The grandparent(s) don’t like you
This leaves you asking, “What does this have to do with his parents?” I’ll answer that: Everything. A parent’s approval is sometimes crucial and sometimes meaningless, but most of the time it is just a gesture to give a blessing over the relationship and you. So not only do his parents want to approve of you, but his parents’ parents want to as well. Kind of confusing, but it makes sense looking at the big picture. The grandparents are the head honchos of the entire family tree, and usually what they say goes. More than likely if the grandparents don’t like you, neither will his parents. It’s just something to keep in mind when meeting other members of his family as well.
Parents are people to respect and appreciate and not to be feared, more or less. They do deserve your respect no matter what they think of you, but if signs point to them not liking you don’t worry too much. Although their opinion matters, it is solely the choice of your boyfriend on choosing to date you or not. If he relies on his parent’s opinions way too much, then he isn’t worth the drama and he will have a hard time keeping a normal relationship.
An important rule to live by is that not everyone will like you, and you really have to just accept that. If you are sincerely doing your best to respect his parents and you are genuinely friendly then it might not be your fault, and communication with your boyfriend and his parents will be crucial. It’s one thing to already have a lot of things going for yourself and be impressive, and then other thing trying to bend over backwards to make the world move for his parents. If you’ve done all you can do and they still don’t like you, it doesn’t mean you should stop being nice or respect them any less, it simply means you don’t need to devote every second to trying to impress them more or to worry over them not liking you. Just be yourself, and if that isn’t enough to make the parents like you then smile and don’t fret!