How do you move forward? When you are hurt, betrayed, angry? You sit and you waste time replaying situations like a broken record, over and over and over again in you head. You think of ways you could have seen it coming, what you could have said differently, what you could have done to change what has happened. Take the time to do this. But, after a while you need to leave it behind you and continue on.
You move forward through forgiveness. Forgiving those who have caused you any level of pain – whether it is physically, mentally, emotionally – is a monstrous challenge in and of itself. Sometimes, we trick ourselves into thinking forgiveness is synonymous with weakness; that you are “giving in” by absolving those who have cause affliction.
It’s easy to initially fail to realize that by forgiving others, the unwanted vibes present in life are single-handedly eliminated. Forgiveness is a lengthy process, one that is tedious and at times, seems like a never-ending fight of who possesses the most resistance.
Forgiveness involves deep, intense emotions. First, you feel a combination of anger and sadness for what has happened. You contemplate how someone could have done something like this to us. You feel fooled, violated, betrayed. The list can be lengthy.
Acceptance of what has happened usually follows, but does not guarantee that we forgive those who have hurt us. Deliberation occurs; back and forth, back and forth you go in your mind, wondering what you should do. Where do you go from here?
This is where you hit a crossroad: 1) You can hold a grudge, choke on your ego or, 2) You can forgive, actually swallow your pride, and move on.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t take the time to mourn, be sad or angry. Take the time to do that because it is part of the process.
But, there comes a time where you must move forward and holding a grudge leaves you in a standstill.
Grudges, resentment, and animosity – whichever way you want to put it – literally breed destruction into life.
Whether you accept it or not, everyday you choose how you want to live.
You don’t have to like everyone you forgive. Realize that forgiveness allows you to move forward because you can let go and proceed. And, apologize to others when you make a mistake.
The courageous ones are those who apologize when they are faulty and those who forgive when they are vulnerable.
So, apologize when you are wrong, forgive those who’ve hurt you, forgive your friends, forgive your family, and don’t forget to forgive yourself.