I am a big believer that the little things always count more than the big things. I recently wrote an article about simple pleasures: the small, seemingly insignificant things that can completely turn your day around when celebrated. Upon completing this list, I realized that when you dwell on the silly little bad things that happen every day, they also have the power to alter the course of your day. I’m not suggesting you focus solely on the negatives, but we’ve all had those days where one little occurrence destroys everything….right?
1. Seeing a spider in the shower
Maybe it’s just my bad luck, but I am creeped on by spiders while showering approximately once a month, and it never fails to ruin everything. You are at your most vulnerable in the shower: you are alone (usually), singing naked and evaluating life. Then you suddenly see something move. You scream, you slip and fall, he runs, you panic because you have no way of killing him and disposing of the body while in the shower. There is no coming back from that. Your shower, your day, and your life are all ruined.
2. Getting the wrong take out order
All day, you’ve been dying for some General Tso’s chicken. You googled pictures of it during your lunch break and salivated profusely, and you already tweeted that you’re ordering it for dinner. Who’s #jealous?? You get home, starving, longing for that sweet chicken, and order delivery from your favorite, most reliable Chinese place. Thirty minutes later, they deliver you SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN. Of course, you don’t realize until the delivery man is long gone and you open your cardboard container of disappointment. Your trust has been broken, you’ve been let down, and there will be no General Tso’s tonight. (Personal anecdote: an incorrect pizza delivery introduced me to lasagna pizza, and subsequently my freshman fifteen…)
3. The barista spelling your name wrong on the cup of your coffee drink
Personally, my name is hard to spell and I’d be in shock if anyone, especially a barista I don’t personally know, ever spelled it right. However, being a user of social media, I’ve noticed that it is a very common tragedy, and people get extremely offended and post pictures with angry captions and emojis when their name is misspelled on a Starbucks cup. How dare that barista misspell your name?! The injustice! Obviously your name is “Anne”, not “Ann”. #ugh #getitright
4. Making an embarrassing Facebook mistake
This one is in no way a mockery of a social media cliché. The amount of shame, despair, and misery in this situation is REAL. You’re Facebook stalking your crush’s tagged pictures from 2007 when you accidentally “like” a picture of him and his high school girlfriend. Your entire body goes numb as you immediately “unlike” it, though you know he will get the incredibly bizarre notification anyway. You solemnly swear to never Facebook stalk anyone ever again, as you slam your laptop shut and hide in your room for a week.
5. Being deceived by a beverage
I think every mini fridge in a college dorm room has at one point housed a water bottle full of vodka. It’s clever, it’s discrete, the RA will never know! Well, neither will you in the middle of the night, when you wake up parched and reach in the dark for some water. There is nothing more shocking than expecting water and instead gulping cheap vodka. *shudder*
6. Waving back at someone who wasn’t actually waving at you
We’ve all been there. You’re walking alone and someone enthusiastically waves at you. You’re certain that you don’t know them, but they look so excited to see you! Maybe you just don’t recognize your friends from this distance? You enthusiastically wave back, only to notice them run past you to the person behind you- the person they were actually waving at. Shame washes over you as you try to pretend you were swatting a fly. The embarrassment takes approximately 24 hours to 12 years to subside.
7. A surprise period
Maybe it surprised you and came two days early, or maybe you just didn’t realize it was the last Sunday of the month already…but either way, surprise periods are the worst thing that can happen to a girl. You’re always out for the day, wearing your favorite underwear and favourite white pants, with no tampons or panty liners in your handbag when it attacks. There is no recovering in this situation; your whole day is destroyed. Wrap your jacket around your waste 90’s-style, and get home to a tub of ice cream and your loving bed immediately.
8. Inconsiderate drivers
There is nothing worse than the breed of people who think they own the road, and that everyone else is merely in the way of their superior car and godly driving. They cut you off, they don’t seem to realize their car has turn signals, they take up two parking spaces, they angrily gesture at you as they pass you doing 95mph. You did nothing to deserve this vile treatment, but it tears you down anyway. You spend all day wishing ill upon the jerk in the yellow Hummer who cut you off on your way to work.
9. Being hacked
You know it’s going to be a bad day when you wake up to 15 text messages telling you that your Twitter, email, or Facebook may have been hacked. Everyone you know is asking if you really direct messaged them a link to a free car on Twitter, or if you were hacked. Not the silly, middle school-esque ~*hacked by Jenny*~ type deal, but the serious, security-breaching, identity-theft type of hacking. You have to change all your passwords and contact everyone not to click the link. You have to spend 45 minutes explaining to your grandma why she shouldn’t click the link, and how even though it says the email is from you, it really isn’t. Just give up on today and go back to bed where it’s safe.
10. Having ‘Who Let The Dogs Out?’ stuck in your head
Really my only motive in writing this was to get this unfathomably annoying song stuck in your head. *evil laugh*