How Much Are Dreams Supposed To Cost You?

Mike Erskine

I wonder what a man has to do just to survive these days.

Having 13 cents in my bank account for the past week is actually not that good for morale. I’m trying to decide if spending my last $14 on a pack of cigarettes, a beer and a taco was a good trade. Doesn’t really matter anyways; give a homeless man a cigarette, and the Gods will bless you. The other day I was walking down the street with my headphones bumping, and this old homeless guy stops me and asks for a dollar. The dude honestly looked like he had cancer, he was so frail and had lost all his hair. Well, that morning, I had just pawned a gold ring for $75 that a friend gave me, so I was finally about to eat after starving for 2 days. But my God, that guy looked like he was about to die so I gave him $5 and sent him on his way. Give a dying homeless man some money, and Zeus will smile upon you.

Somehow I came here to Denver with almost 4 grand and now it’s all gone. I guess that’s what happens when travel somewhere for over a month. And also when you spend $300 at a strip club the first night. But I’m not worried, I got a few checks coming in soon from working as a waiter at a restaurant downtown. The tips were pretty good there; I usually was making around $300 for working a whole day. But I guess all good things go to shit eventually, and I got fired after a couple weeks. Don’t even ask me why, all I can say is I don’t give a single fuck about any haters. I’ll cash their checks later.

I bought these new shades and they are the best thing I’ve ever owned. They just make the whole world seem like a movie when I’m walking down the street. The colors have more contrast and things look so much more romantic. Maybe life is just a movie, and we are the stars. Except most people don’t realize they are in a movie, that it’s all just for fun. There’s really nothing to fear, all is well.

To dream or not to dream? To push it to the limit, and then to the next limit and the next. Or is it best to settle for a life with a steady job and a lover and friends and family. And perhaps a pet, I’ve heard those are nice. Someday I will adopt a husky and we will go on walks, and I will pick up the dog shit and throw it away. A small price to pay for love. Sorry, I’m getting off topic – oh yes, we were talking about dreams. For almost my whole life I’ve been a realist. My parents are middle class hard working people. But do I want to be like them? Work an office job and get married and settle down in the suburbs and raise a family? How truly revolting. I want fame, fortune, beautiful women, and everything the world has to offer. Give me everything or nothing at all. I sail for the horizon.

I’ve heard the Devil sells happy lives in exchange for your soul. I light another cigarette and finish my whisky.

It’s a beautiful war. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Aspiring writer. Borderline alcoholic. Hopeless romantic. Dreamer.

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