Men in uniform are sexy as hell.
Maybe I should blame this – at least my attraction to uniforms – on the fact that my older brother went to the Naval Academy and somehow became best friends with five of the hottest men on planet Earth (shout-out Goon Squad). Or maybe it’s because the uniform levels the playing field between men who understand fashion and men who don’t understand fashion. Or maybe it’s because men in uniform look important, and important men are the kind of men I want to talk to.
Maybe I don’t know the real reason, but it wasn’t until today that I ever questioned the phenomenon. While driving home, I drove passed a man who was sitting in a truck in a Navy Uniform, and my first thought was “Wow. That guy’s hot.” To make the situation a little clearer, the truck was hundreds of feet from my car. I couldn’t see what the man looked like; in fact, the only feature that I could make out was the fact that he was in uniform. Yet, I still immediately felt attracted to the man who literally looked like a blurry blob inside a uniform hundreds of feet from me.
So then I started to think about it, and it’s true. Men in uniform are the hottest men on earth. Here’s why:
1. Chances are, they’ve got their shit together and act like a real, adult human.
I once dated a boy who constantly insisted on paying for my things with his mom’s credit card. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with chivalry, but when your boyfriend’s only source of income is his parents’ credit card (and he gloats about it when he takes you out on dates), it’s probably time to say goodbye. I want a to date an adult – a real adult, who does adult things. Not a boy who still acts like he’s 16 years old.
2. They’re forced into responsibility and hard work even if they didn’t have those qualities before.
Don’t be the guy who can’t handle managing his own schedule and has to cancel all the time. Don’t be the guy who doesn’t know how to do his own laundry. Don’t be the guy who oversleeps three days a week and is constantly wearing a wrinkled suit. I don’t want to be your girlfriend and also take on the role of being your mother. Luckily for women, there’s a whole group of men who are forced to be responsible and hardworking – they even wear uniforms so that we can easily point them out!
3. If they can be trusted to protect a country, they can probably protect you.
I don’t need a man who can save me (in most cases, I don’t even want a man to save me), but let’s be real – there’s something sexy about a man protecting you (and wanting to!) from all of the world’s evils, even if you don’t need saving.
4. There’s a big chance they have lots of cool talents that civilians don’t.
Like flying an airplane, running a nuclear reactor, or using fancy power tools. So maybe they can’t tell you a whole lot about their job because most of it’s classified, but how great would it be to date a man who goes off to a mystery job everyday (IN A UNIFORM)? Or what if he takes you on an airplane ride to propose just because he can? (Okay so that one sounds really dangerous and also probably illegal, but I can still dream!)
5. Uniforms (of any kind) make all men a minimum of 50% more attractive, and I don’t really have an explanation for it.
Yes, uniforms are a sign of responsible, protective, and talented adult men, but they also just make every man more attractive than civilian clothes ever could, and that’s a benefit of its own.