To the thinkers, the introspective, worrisome, thoughtful thinkers that over-obsess with the meaning and causes of everything that happens: not everything has a meaning. Sometimes, it’s just life.
To the woman who prides herself on not giving it up until the sixth date and strategically replies 7-10 minutes later to every text: stop thinking about why he stopped calling. Sometimes, the guys we meet are just assholes. Sometimes, people lose interest. Sometimes, we just delude ourselves into believing in a chemistry or connection that may have just been one-sided. No, you didn’t come on too strong with that extra kissy-face emoji. Was it something you said or did? Maybe. But so what? You were yourself. It wouldn’t have made a difference if you had slept with him on the first date instead; he wouldn’t have found you more adventurous. And it also makes no difference if you waited 3 months; you still would be no virgin in his eyes.
To the guy who traveled back and forth to the big city with hopes of securing that dream job but didn’t get it: don’t overthink it. Sure, you spoke with multiple reps from the company and perhaps you even had to craft a few proposals for the application process, but you still didn’t get it. Your interview was fine. A stronger grip on that handshake would’ve left a bruise. That red tie you wore had nothing to do with it. Sometimes, the job is just not for you. Sometimes companies interview just to interview, even though they’ve already secured the position for someone else. Sometimes, the CEO’s nephew is your competition.
To the adult child whose parent is ill: do not blame yourself. Taking the job that was closer to home wouldn’t have prevented the sickness. Your decision to settle down with your mate doesn’t mean that you neglected your mom or dad. The only difference one more phone call would have made was just an extra smile and a longer conversation. Sometimes, the people we love get sick. Sometimes, even the doctors don’t know why. Sometimes, the only healing you can provide is love and presence.
To the pair of friends who are growing farther and farther apart: it’s no one’s fault. Sometimes, we are meant to be in each other’s lives for just a season. Sometimes, our interests change. Sometimes, you realize your friend is a jerk. Sometimes, it’s you who’s the jerk. There’s no cure to save a dying friendship. Forced phone calls and empty promises do nothing more but remind you of how distant you two have become.
To the dreamer whose dream has yet to make it into reality: keep dreaming. Sometimes, you’re just not there yet. Maybe you won’t be the 20-something prodigy or the 20-something millionaire. Perhaps the grand success that you yearn for won’t happen until later in life. Who says you can’t enjoy success in old age? Sometimes, we limit our thoughts and capacity of happiness to a certain time frame under restricting circumstances. Sometimes, it won’t happen before we have kids or a mortgage. Sometimes, our dreams are unfolding and we don’t notice it because of our insatiable desire for more power and love. Sometimes, we aren’t really doing what it takes for the dreams to happen.
Sometimes life sucks. Things don’t make sense. People leave without notice. the indestructible foundations we’ve built somehow lost its stability and we just don’t know why. If everything happens for a reason, why isn’t the reason so clear? Sometimes, we don’t need to know the reason right away. Sometimes, we have to be okay with there being no reason. While the pain of uncertainty is present, so is the joy of relief. Accepting the ways of the universe and letting go of things we can not change — there’s freedom in that. We have enough in our control, be okay with letting the universe take some of the reins. Moving on and overcoming is an all time guarantee.