“Watch Netflix for nine days without taking a bathroom break! Eat pizza until even your sweatpants can no longer accommodate your bulging love handles! Forget to send your grandma thank you notes for the past 27 birthday cards!” says the swagged out millennial demon inside us all.
Holy butthole, I’m starting to sweat!
Michael was living in Italy when he took a lover. A slender woman with thin lips, she would compliment him on his scent at every opportunity.
You’d better be ready to face some thirsty females on the regular.
I’ve had my Facebook account since 2006, that’s almost a nine-year commitment. That outlasts all of my romantic relationships, and many of my friendships.
This year, instead of resolving to make drastic life changes, take baby steps. Consider any progress is good progress, and starting small will help you succeed in the long run.
“It was soooo good to see you” *makes gagging face*
Here’s to hoping this resonates with the locals, and makes you crazy East Coasters consider relocating.
This year, instead of thinking about all the reasons you can’t achieve your goals, examine why you think you can’t in the first place and try to change your mindset instead.
1. Any beer whose name ends in “Light” or “Ice.”