Why Holding On Too Long Is The Right Thing To Do

We’ve all been there. And if you haven’t been there, you’ve seen it. The relationship is done, there’s nothing left for either party involved, but yet it continues on. Maybe they’re broken up and still hooking up occasionally. Maybe the girl no longer wants to be with the guy, but the second he’s gone she calls crying, and he puts his head down before begrudgingly returning to her. Maybe he’s been cheating with another guy, and his boyfriend knows, but he thinks there isn’t anyone better out there. We’ve all been in this place in some way, shape or form, and it’s horrible. Any sane, half-logical person will tell you that you should never put yourself in that position, and rightfully so. But, when the time comes to walk away from that person that you’ve put your entire heart and soul into, the person that’s made you happier than you ever thought possible, the person that knows all of your secrets, the person you think the world of, it’s so damn difficult to just turn around, walk away and never look back. And I don’t think you should.

You’re never going to find someone like that person again. You may find someone better, you may find someone worse, but you’ll definitely find someone different. And when someone makes you feel as good – and as bad – as they can, you should hold on to that for as long as possible. Happiness is an incredible feeling, and if someone takes you to the most extreme points of happiness when you’re with them, you shouldn’t let them go. Because for every stupid fight over nothing, there’s a late night car ride spent singing and dancing your heart outs. For every angry text sent saying, “I’m done.” There’s a good morning apology text that reminds you why you care so fucking much about them. Even if you can’t stand to look at them at times, and those times will come, you should still understand how happy they truly make you and hold onto that for as long as possible. We live in a world where everything we do is judged, so finding that one special person who looks at you without judgmental eyes, and thinks that you’re a great person, is someone that you should cherish for as long as possible.

You’ll regret a lot of the time spent with them after things have been damaged beyond repair, but you’ll also cherish those new memories made. Break-ups are the worst, but it’s so hard to go cold turkey from a person who took your breath away for the last year. It’ll hurt waking up next to them, and knowing they’re not yours anymore. You know what’s worse than that? Waking up alone. It will hurt knowing that they’ve given their heart to someone else. Guess what hurts more? Knowing they’ve taken back the part of their heart they gave to you. Moving on is difficult to do, but I’d rather move on progressively than in one swift act of heart-wrenching pain. So if that person you once wanted so much still wants you, and you still have a place in your heart for them, open it up. Maybe you’ll realize that all those feelings you had are gone, maybe you’ll understand that you need this person in your life, maybe you’ll confuse the shit out of yourself, but at least you won’t regret not taking one – or 12 – more chance to see things can still work.

It hurts knowing that things are over. Someone has to move on first, but it’s not easy for either of you. It sucks going through a heartbreaking experience, and going through it a few times over the course of a couple of weeks, or months, is emotionally draining, but there’s still so much to gain fighting for a love you once had. Even if you know that the love has almost completely evaporated, you shouldn’t let go of something until it breaks you. Screw playing it safe, falling in love is dangerous in the first place. If you’re going to play a dangerous game, you better be prepared to get hurt, and probably pretty badly. If you’ve been hurt once before, don’t be afraid to get hurt again, because the happiness they’ll make you feel in between is worth it.

Once it’s completely over, then it is time to let it go. If there are no mutual feelings, if there’s no respect, no trust, no care, then you have to be ready to say goodbye. Don’t put yourself in an abusive relationship where you’re being used. That’s wrong. But if you both have some remnants of past relationship, then embrace those feelings until you crush them. Hold on for one more kiss at 8 a.m. before they go to work, stay for that one last time they hold your hand on a roller coaster, and don’t walk away from someone that you once held so highly until you know it’s done.

But maybe I’m wrong. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – iStockphoto

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