1. Your signature alcoholic drink is a Flaming Moe (Flaming Moe’s)
But you only go to bars that have a bottle of children’s cough syrup readily available.
2. If you ever became a millionaire, the first car you’d buy would be The Homer (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?)
Those extra large cup holders will come in handy.
3. You know every major league baseball player on the Power Plant softball team. (Homer at the Bat)
Even though it’s still frustrating to you that Mattingly never got rid of those sideburns.
4. From your Stonecutter membership, you’ll call 912 instead of 911 in case of an emergency. (Homer the Great)
Just make sure to keep the martians under wraps.
5. You hate every ape you see, from Chimpan-a to Chimpan-z (A Fish Called Selma)
And you love Dr. Zaius
6. If you were in the witness protection program, your new identity would be John Elway
7. You’ll eventually see the Itchy and Scratchy movie, but only after being appointed a Supreme court Judge (Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie)
Reading the novelization just isn’t the same.
8. Whacking Day is much more important to you than Thanksgiving or Christmas. (Whacking Day)
Just find those snakes before Barry White gets to them.
9. In Rod you Trust (Deep Space Homer)
Make sure to get there early for the parade.
10. Your independent film lost out to “Man Gets Hit in Groin by Football” (A Star is Burns)
Sucks that you had to bribe everyone in Hollywood.
11. You auditioned for the role of Fall Out Boy in the Radioactive Man movie, but were one inch too short. (Radioactive Man)
Mickey Rooney got the part instead.
12. Your go to karaoke jam is “Can I Borrow a Feeling?” (A Milhouse Divided)
“Can I borrow a cup of love?”
13. A Johnny Cash voiced fox is your spirit guide. (El Viaje Misterioso de nuestro Jomer)
But he’s not your soulmate though.
14. You attend foreclosure auctions in the hope of buying an abandoned factory for a dollar. (Homer’s Enemy)
Just don’t hire Milhouse as a security guard.
15. You like your beer cold, TV loud, and your homosexuals FLAMING! (Homer’s Phobia)
That Hawaiian shirt you’re wearing just came out of the closet.