What Your Clothes Actually Say About You

I haven’t washed my hair in a week.

I haven’t shaved my legs in a month.

I haven’t eaten a vegetable in a decade.

I haven’t said anything interesting in my life.

I’m willing to talk about why sandals should be antimicrobial.

I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT MY FEET. LOOK AT THEM!

I have a limited grasp of current events.

I have no grasp of current events.

I am from the Midwest.

I have never even heard of the Midwest.

I have an OkCupid profile, and I respond to messages “often.”

I own a record player, and I don’t know how to use it.

My eyesight is fine.

My eyesight is highly impaired.

I’m Chuck Bass.

I’m Kid Vid from the Burger King Kids Club.

I own a $400 vaporizer.

I own a Snuggie.

I’m packing Blow Pops.

I’m happy.