Your best friend is about to marry the love of his life and has asked you to serve as his best man. It’s one of the most important days of his life up until now and he is putting his faith and trust in you. You’re the chosen one to stand by his side and be there for him every step of the way throughout the wedding process. Luckily for you, that really only means planning the bachelor party, making sure you have the rings when they’re needed, and not making a fool of yourself at the wedding reception. If you’re not sure what else is expected of you, here are some tips on things you should never do at a wedding reception when you’re the best man.
1. Don’t make jokes at the spouse’s expense. They won’t be funny and it’s just awkward for all of the other guests in attendance.
2. Don’t embarrass the groom with compromising college tales. Remember that night you bonded in the strip club and switched strippers mid-dance? This isn’t the time for that story.
3. Don’t speak more than three minutes during your best man speech. We’re sure your jokes are way better than Jimmy Fallon’s, but don’t show us at the reception you didn’t pay for. Invite us to your open mic night instead.
4. Don’t drop the microphone after your speech unless you want to pay for it. Wireless microphones are very expensive and usually belong to the band or DJ. Respect other people’s property. If you want to drop something, drop your own cell phone when you walk off of the dance floor.
5. Don’t get blackout drunk. Drink and be merry, but mix in a water every now and again. You should want to remember this night.
6. Don’t vomit anywhere other than the bathroom. Preferably please don’t vomit at all, but if you must, don’t do it in front of all of the other wedding guests.
7. Don’t rip the groom’s clothes off, especially if the photographer is nearby. It’s not a good look and your buddy’s family and in-laws probably won’t think too highly of it.
8. Don’t take your clothes off. No one wants to see what’s underneath your tuxedo. And if someone does, take that person back to your hotel room and undress in private.
9. Don’t tempt the groom into doing things he shouldn’t. This can be making him drink a bunch of shots, smoke joints outside, or much worse, but let’s stop there.
10. Don’t hit on the servers, photographers, singers, or anyone else working at the wedding. They have a job to do. Let them do it.
11. Don’t hit on anyone’s family members. It’s going to be really awkward for you the next day and is uncalled-for.
12. Don’t forget to use deodorant, especially in the summer. You’ll be taking pictures starting in the early morning and partying well into the evening. The best man shouldn’t smell like a sweaty teenager at a high school dance.
13. Don’t photobomb the first dance, cake cutting, or any moment at all. There will be pictures of you from the wedding, no need to force your way into them.
14. Don’t be obnoxious or feel entitled. Sure, you’re important to the groom and it’s a tremendous honor to be the best man, but in actuality you’re the groom’s manservant for the day. His wish is your command. Not the other way around.
15. Don’t request songs to the band or DJ on behalf of the married couple that they didn’t want because you think it’d be funny if they heard a song they hate. It’s just mean and will get the entertainers in trouble.
16. Don’t make the day about you. It’s about the married couple. That’s it.
Now that that’s out of the way, raise your glass, wish the couple a lifetime of happiness, and get ready to join them on the dance floor.