I’m A Nice Guy And I Never Finish Last

Alex Barth
Alex Barth

What I Get Out Of It
You tell me that you don’t understand what I get out of our relationship; that I only give and don’t take. I’ve felt bad that after asking on three separate occasions I still sort of brush it off without ever having thought of a better answer than, “You’re just my happy pill”. As it turns out the answer is pretty simple, even pathetically common: I get enormous pleasure from seeing you happy. That’s the priceless gift you give.

That Smile
I would do anything to get you to laugh. I would say anything! Funny, embarrassing, stupid, or even borderline offensive, because an awkward laugh is still a laugh. Even the annoyed smirks are great, since those ones light up your eyes. It doesn’t even have to be me, that’s why I liked when that one guy was around…because it was easy for him, and you were easy around him. I’ll take any laugh, because when you laugh you smile. And that smile is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

Being Your Favorite
More than anything else it makes me happy that you value my efforts enough to want me in your life indefinitely. It’s when you genuinely wish for things like “always,” that makes me forget all the craziness we’ve been through and the craziness I know will come. It’s the fact that you love your personal space more than anything, but you’ll let me in it for as long as I want. It’s the fact that you trust me with those mysterious things you discovered last year called “real emotions.” It’s the fact that you care for me the same way I do for you. It’s the fact that you respect me as much as my kid-sister.

But, I Don’t Play
They say, “Nice guys finish last”…but that’s hardly a fair statement since nice guys don’t play. Have you ever asked a nice guy, “Are you a player?” It seems almost rhetorical and self-evident that the answer is unequivocally, “No.” Nice guys aren’t even contenders, and as such, the statement has always offended me.

In an anonymous survey, most nice guys (and their female friends) would tell you that if they so chose they could get (or at the very least, are worthy of) any girl they wanted. Yet, real life is a constant pity party for those nice-guys that have changed their minds about what they want but refuse to change their behavior to get what they want. Perhaps this façade is an attempt to maintain their own internal sense of integrity to their original gentlemanly commitments.

Nice guys, friend-zoned-guys, are the ones taking themselves out of the running by refusing to play. Nice guys offer to always be there for you, asking nothing in return. With that in mind, I don’t blame any girl for taking advantage of a nice guy; because if someone says “I bought you a present” and you take it, and they keep bringing you presents…well then you should keep accepting them, because they are obviously getting something out of it! They’re winning their own subconscious game, whatever that game may be. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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