10 Non-Deadly But Totally Insane 20 Something Diseases

1. I-Really-Don’t-Know-What-to-Do-POROSIS

This disease usually hits graduating students and fresh graduates. It is marked by uncertainty on what to do once you get your diploma.

Early signs include irritation once you ask them about their future plans, being indecisive about almost everything, including what they want to eat for lunch and confusion between getting hired and hiring themselves.

2. NEURO-TIC-Judgmental-THIRITIS

A disease that usually hits socially active and mainstream people. It is marked by fright about what other people will think of him or her.

Early signs are excessive judgment of oneself to other people, comparing their failure to someone else’s success and using the opinions of others as the measurement of a successful life.

3. ACUTE-Failure-Ro-PHOBIA

A very popular phobia that stops the 20-something to pursue any goals. This includes embracing mediocrity, locking one self’s in the comfort zone and not attempting anything that is listed in the book of the things that may go wrong.

Symptoms include turning back to opportunities and having an endless compilation of excuses.

4. Forever-Single-CITIS

An inflammation that has two types. (INBORN and ACQUIRED)

INBORN Forever-Single-Citis is the rare type in which the patient is bullied by family and friends because of their dull romantic life. They are not interested in dating, they may have plans to get married someday, but they are not really thinking about it yet.

ACQUIRED Forever-Single-CITIS is the common type in which the patient has gone through lots of failed relationships. Symptoms include bitterness and reading every relationship article in Thought Catalog. Severe cases of this inflammation is believed to be linked into Forever-Alone-Citis.

5. Broken-heart-GITIS-INFLUENZA

A virus that causes the patient to write epic poems about romance and make catchy music that shames the exes. Early signs include excessive crying, around 2 gallons of tears per day and may last up to 5 months to 5 years. It also includes the sudden need of friends and a bottle of wine as well as sudden weeping upon hearing some love songs.

6. Paycheck-DEFICIENCY-I’m-So-Broke-DISORDER

A disorder that makes the patient to have seizure, hallucinations and 50 degrees fever upon the receipt of their paycheck. Early symptoms include counting how many days are left before the next pay day and making an oath of “I will be thrifty this month”. But most often, the patient will forget about this oath the next day.

This disorder is believed to be linked in another disease called “I-hate-my-job-syndrome”.

7. Too-Old-Yet-Too-Young-MANIASIS

A disease that is usually common in your early twenties in which the patient is surprised with the drastic changes – physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and economically. This is marked by feeling overwhelmed towards new responsibilities such as paying bills, looking for a job, chasing the dream job, keeping sane, building networks and keeping friendships.

Early signs include being doomed for still watching Spongebob Squarepants and hearing advices such as “You have to Mature Up” and “You’re not a Kid anymore.”

8. I-love-to-Sleep-And-Eat-PALSY

This illness is more common among the working 20-something in which they feel exhausted in doing nothing, having a meal every 5 seconds, and hibernating during weekends.

This is also believed to be linked with other illness such as I’m-Getting-Fat-INFECTION.

9. I-need-to-Fix-This-life-injury

This injury includes fracture in your soul, bruises in your brain and heart hemorrhage. It is a condition in which the patient admits that he/she finally hit the wall and she need help to get by. Early signs include admitting the mess, the mistakes and hang ups of the patient.

In severe stage, the patient feels that he/she is not doing what she wants in life and that he/she needs to make this life into a better story.

10. This-is-Reality-FEVER

A fever that may last from 7 days to 2 months. It is a condition in which the patient finally realized the line that separates the expectations and reality. Early signs include staring at the ceiling and complaining “It doesn’t make sense.” This fever is associated with the realization that life is not what you expected to be and yes, it sucks!

If you think you are positive, don’t panic, just grab a pizza. If symptoms persist, then grab more pizza.