Before The Year Ends, I Want To Forgive Myself

2019 is almost over, and it has been a long, crazy, amazing year. Before the year ends, I want to forgive myself.

I want to forgive myself for all the times I thought I deserved any less. For letting myself be in situations that weren’t good for me for too long. For allowing myself to cry myself to sleep and wake up the next day as if nothing was wrong. For not being honest with myself and for hiding certain parts of myself because I was too busy caring about what other people thought about me.

To the person I’ve been in 2019, I’m sorry for not taking better care of you and for putting others before you. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t appreciate your beauty and grace and how kind your heart is. I’m sorry for all the pain you went through, but I’m mostly sorry for letting you be in that situation when I could have done better.

To the person I’ll be in 2020, I am very excited to meet you, because I know you will be great and do amazing things. I know that you can handle whatever the year will bring. You have walked through storm and it’s now time to see the light. You deserve all the goodness that life will bring because you have brought goodness to others around you, without even thinking of yourself.

It’s not going to be easy, but you will get through it like you always do. But this time, please be more kind to yourself. Please allow yourself to rest when you need to, to leave situations that aren’t good for you, to remove anything that takes away your joy, and to never settle for anything less than you deserve.

And if you ever find that you haven’t been so kind to yourself, then please be kind enough to forgive yourself. Know that you, just like everyone else, are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Always remember that the only person you have to impress at the end of the day is you.

You are beautiful. You are kind. You are smart.