30 Insults That Will Make You Sound Classy And Intelligent

Instead of cursing someone out the next time you’re angry, try these intellectual insults from Ask Reddit.
A classy, intelligent girl laughing
Unsplash /
Hian Oliveira

1. 

“I can only explain it to you. I can’t understand it for you.” — amperages

2.

“I envy everyone you have never met.” — TheGarp

3.

“You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.” — Tartaras1

4.

“You’re not pretty enough to be that stupid.” — sinan810 

5.

“I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I won’t do it as well as nature did.” — AnonCaptain002

6.

“Somewhere out there, there’s a tree whose single purpose on earth is to replace the oxygen you waste. Go find it and apologize.” — Alcho_Duck 

7.

“I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” — UlicBelouve

8.

“Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort?” — TheToucanKing

9.

“You consistently set low expectations and fail to achieve them.” — Merv_86

10.

“Just quit being yourself.” — allmusiclover69

11.

“I hope you lose weight so there’ll be less of you!” — bobapplemac

12.

“Anyone who ever said they loved you lied.” — chileheadd

13.

“I hope your day is filled with people like you.” — Adamdidit

14.

“You’re hard to look at.” — AudibleNod

15.

“If only your mother had swallowed you instead…” — HappyLittleTrees17

16.

“If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego, and jump to your IQ.” — Saoirse_Laochra

17.

“I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.” — snugalufalus

18.

“You spit in the face of evolution.” — Fishing_Croagunk

19.

“Even dogs don’t like you.” — Av3ngedAngel 

20.

“Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents.” — cmdrmcgarrett

21.

“When your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.” — crabshit

22.

“Not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” — Alcho_Duck

23.

“You’re the poster child for Birth Control.” — Rockwell87

24.

“You are like the sun, not because you light up my world but because it hurts to look at you.” — PenguinsAreTheSenate

25.

“You better die on a weekday, because no one will break their weekend plans to attend your funeral.” — triton2toro

26.

“Whoever told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.” — ElVille55

27.

You shouldn’t act hard-to-get when you’re hard-to-want.” — InarticulateAtheist

28.

“Now I know why everyone talks about you behind your back.” — drsp00kz 

29.

“People tolerate you.” — McCyanide

30.

“You’re about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.” — [deleted] TC mark

Juliet Lanka

Hater of love. Lover of horror.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

Image Credit: Unsplash / Hian Oliveira

30 Insults That Will Make You Sound Classy And Intelligent is cataloged in , , , , ,