1. You learn who your real friends are.
When people find out that your mom/dad passed away, they’ll either shy away from you or really step up to the plate as your support system There will be people who you thought were your best friends that will suddenly act like you don’t exist because they just don’t know what to say or how to act around you. However, there will also be people who surprise you by proving just how much they care. Everyone should know that it’s not about saying or doing the right thing, because there really is no right thing. With that being said, simply letting someone know that you’re there for them can make all the difference in the world.
2. You’ll miss the little things the most.
The car rides, random trips to the store, saying goodnight, or even just watching a movie together. You’ll miss those small moments with them more than can ever be put into writing.
3. You’ll constantly forget that they’re gone.
Whether it’s coming home and wondering where they are, or accidentally texting/calling them just to remember that they’re not going to answer, it’s going to take a long time for you to remember that they are gone. Having to repeatedly remember what happened and remind yourself that you’ll never see them again will be an unfortunate part of your daily schedule.
4. They’ll never stop showing up in your dreams.
This can be both good and bad. While you’ll treasure those too short moments you get to spend with them in your dreams, it makes waking up and facing reality almost unbearable. There will be plently of nights where your sobs wake you up and no matter what you do, you just can’t calm yourself down.
5. Understanding that everyone copes differently is vital.
One of the largest tests of your patience will come with putting up with others’ coping methods. While you may hate talking about it, others may find that talking through it helps them. While you may cope through humor, others may prefer to just sit back and give themselves some time to be sad. There is no right or wrong way to cope with a loss this significant. The quicker you realize that everyone will have different reactions, the easier it will be to deal with them.
6. You’ll see with your own eyes just how many people love and care about you.
My mother’s funeral was held in a large church that also had a balcony and a standing room area in the back. We were told that they’ve never even come close to filling the ground seating. Not only did the ground seating fill up in a matter of minutes, but before we knew it, the balcony had filled up as well. This left a crowd of people gladly squeezed into standing room and then even into the lobby. The church actually had to call in help to assist with organization and giving out communion because they’d never seen a crowd so large. It honestly was the most beautiful feeling in the world.