The Perfect Running Playlist for the Athletically Disinclined

So when it comes to running on a treadmill, it not only takes me forever to muster the lady-balls to get my ass on the machine, but I have to painstakingly craft the perfect playlist in order to keep my mind on the prize. Thus, I present to you, after much overanalysis, the definitive guide to timing your running playlist to the progressive mental stages of the athletically disinclined.