4 Truths I Learned About Grief After Losing My Dad

I’ll never “get over it” and that’s fine. Death is not something you want to get over. It’s something you learn to live with.

1. You might be filled with regrets at first.

“Should I’ve spent more time with him?” “Told him I loved him more often?” “Spent less time with my friends so I could get to know him better?”

Don’t be. Those regrets won’t change anything, they’ll just make you feel worse. That time with your friends was important because your father got to see you live and have fun. At least that’s what my mom said. He was happy to see me be happy. That’s what a parent wants.

2. You might feel like you should’ve get to know him better.

It’s not always too late. Sure it won’t be the same as talking to him but you can still get to know him. Talk to the people around you that knew him. You’ll discover different side of him that you would’ve never known otherwise. You might even discover things that bring you closer to him this way. Last year I found out my dad wanted to be an artist but didn’t follow his dream. My aunt proceeded to tell me how proud he’d be of me for going against everyone and following my dream.

3. Don’t feel guilty for living your life.

As crazy as it seems life goes on. Don’t feel guilty about your happiness. Sometimes you’ll be having the time of your life and something will remind you of him. Value those moments cause is when you’ll feel closer to him. It might be a random thought but that’s fine cause you’re thinking of him. Don’t feel guilty when a day passes by and you didn’t feel sad. You are not forgetting him, you are learning to live through the grief.

4. Grief never ends.

It’s like a curse that always keeps on giving. It can be turned back on for any random reason. It’s been eight years since I lost myself and a few nights ago I spent hours crying because I reread some of our old emails. But you learn to live with it and to handle it. Reading these old emails didn’t break me, I cried it out and continued with my life the next. You might even be lucky enough to find some friends who understand what you’re going through. Cherish these friends they’re your treasure through this crazy thing called grief.

Always remember it’s okay to feel a lot of things. Just make sure to never forget to live your life even when you don’t want to. Because that’s what he’d want for you.