10 Reasons To Turn Down

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Recently, Lil Jon and DJ Snake asked us all an important question: โ€œTurn Down For What?โ€

The millennials of the world responded resoundingly with: โ€œNOTHING. WE WILL TURN DOWN FOR NOTHING.โ€

Although I appreciate the enthusiasm, I have to interject. There are a few things I think itโ€™s okay to turn down for. (Not to mention the fact that being โ€œturnt upโ€ all the time will probably kill you prematurely. )

Here they are, kids: my Top Ten Reasons to Turn Down.

1. Netflix

Sometimes you need to binge-watch Orange is the New Black/House of Cards/Breaking Bad on Netflix and you need to turn down to process what youโ€™re witnessing and to deal with your emotions.

2. Guacamole

Guac is delicious and beautiful and deserves our utmost respect as a snackfood. Turn down for guacamole and then turn up for whatever else you want. But leave the guac out of it.

3. Your Cat/Dog

Your good friend Buddy wants quality time and that adorable little fuzzy face does not want the bullshit that comes with your turnt up behavior. Calm down for an hour and cuddle with that fuzzball, or youโ€™re a horrible person.

4. Naps

Naps are beautiful and glorious and sometimes completely necessary. If you donโ€™t want to turn down and partake in naptime, I probably donโ€™t want to be friends with you.

5. Showers

A hot, hot, long, beautiful shower with good water pressure. That experience needs to be fully enjoyed and if you canโ€™t chill out for like 20 minutes to appreciate the fact that you have access to that little piece of heaven, YOU NEED HELP.

6. Pool day/getting a tan

Just relax. Go sit next to the pool and hang out and work on your tan and enjoy the sunshine. Turn up later. But turn down for pool day.

7. Work

Unless you hate your job and want to get fired. Then hey, whatever, dude.

8. Visiting your grandparents

Your grandparents want to see you and hear about your day and if you canโ€™t sober up once a week for an hour to hang out with your elders you need to reevaluate your life.

9. Ice cream

Do I really have to tell you that ice cream deserves your utmost respect?

10. Editing

Ernest Hemingway said it best: โ€œWrite Drunk, Edit Sober.โ€ (Unless you want to look like an idiot).

So turn down sometimes. For what? Whatever you want. TC mark

This post originally appeared at Writtalin.

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