1. “So, are you excited to graduate?”
I mean yeah, obviously. No more classes/homework, the opportunity to pursue other interests, and a whole new chapter in life? Of course we’re excited.
We’re also terrified because every year of our lives has been scheduled until this point and we have mini panic attacks about it basically every day (just me?). In addition, we’re trying to process all of the feelings we have about leaving our home of the past four years and the friends who have become family. We’re also still trying to process our feelings about the How I Met Your Mother series finale, so we kind of have a lot going on at the moment.
2. “When are you moving out of your apartment?”
What? Moving out? Well the lease ends May 31st but since we’re living pretty deep in Denialland and the thought of trying to get those couches out the front door isn’t really computing, let’s not talk about it.
3. “What are you doing after graduation?”
Ideally, working. Obviously. At the moment, though, it looks like the majority of our time will be spent applying to jobs online and trying to catch up on our Netflix shows.
See also: having existential crises, trying not to gain post-college weight, adjusting to moving back home (or out of the house), and panicking about paying back student loans. Why, what are you doing this summer?
4. “But like what do you actually want to do?”
Well preferably something that is marginally related to our degree would be nice. We know of this person that graduated a few years ago that’s doing x, y and z now, and we could totally do x, y and z. So we just have to find a job opening in that.
We just want an entry-level position at [insert company here] so we can work our way up in a few years. Is that too much to ask?
5. “What jobs have you applied to?”
All of them. Literally, all of them. Indeed? Check. Monster? Check. The furthest and sketchiest reaches of Google? Check.
Jobs we’re overqualified for. Jobs we’re under-qualified for. Jobs we might actually, miraculously be qualified for. That job you heard about from your mother’s brother’s son’s co-worker.
We’ve applied for all of them and are praying to the gods of HR that we hear back. So far, the gods have not heard us.
The questions are endless, but they always end with the same piece of advice:
6. “Well, enjoy your last few weeks.”
Thanks. We really are trying, but your questions are giving us stress hives. Hey, pass that bottle of Pinot, will you?