I brought you so much pain, and I can never forgive myself for that. One day I hope you understand that I was never good for you in the first place, and I had to leave before you realized that. I chose to turn around and walk away before you made the choice of kicking me out of your life. We were meant to fall in love, but never meant to be together. In the three years I’ve known you, I always felt like I was extra baggage to you. I always weighed you down. No matter how hard we tried to fix us, we just couldn’t. Somewhere along the way, we changed and I was left confused. Every fight weakened our connection, and eventually I got tired of trying to save us.
I spent months trying to forget you. I let the loneliness consume me until there was nothing left but emptiness. You were definitely the person for me, without a doubt. I just know that I wasn’t the one for you, but I wish I was. Sometimes, you aren’t cut out to be the person you have in your mind. And that’s gonna suck. I know that I am not perfect, but still of use.
Many people will never understand what we had, and that’s the beauty of it. Although short lived, I have no regrets. The time given to us was sufficient.
Not all good things last.
fireworks, rollercoasters, reaching the top of the hike
They say that all good things last, but truthfully, they happen in the blink of an eye. We didn’t last very long but our memories surely will. We haven’t been in each other’s lives for a little over a year now but it brings me peace that you now have your arms wide open for someone else. It brings me peace that you are the reason why someone else’s day is made.
Maybe the reason why we didn’t work out was because it was time for you to make someone else happy, in the same way you made me feel like the luckiest person alive. How selfish of me to keep someone as great as you all to myself? So this is me, letting you go, letting you free.
But please don’t just be another face in the crowd. Don’t be that familiar laugh that disappears when I’m around. Don’t just be another picture that I can’t fully piece together. Don’t just be another blurry memory of mine that I barely remember. Please, don’t be a stranger. After everything, how could you?
Thank you for the loving, the hurting and especially the healing.
Although, if I must warn you, once you let me go, you better know that I’m gone. Once I walk away, you should know that my feet aren’t going to stop and turn around; they now have a mind of their own. I have no more hurt left in me, it doesn’t hurt like it used to. Hearing your name does not anger me anymore, nor does it sadden me. I feel nothing.
But after all this, you can still confide in me. You told me that I was your safe place. And although recent events would have changed that, it didn’t. I can still be your safe place if you allow me to be.
I’m not there to say it up close,
and I know that we aren’t friends anymore.
But I hope that you’ll always know that you’re beautiful; you always were, and you always will be.
To me at least.