This Time Around, You’re Going To Have To Fight For Me To Stay

I miss you. I miss you and what sucks is that even when I see you, you’re not there. Even when you’re​ ​standing​ ​next​ ​to​ ​me,​ ​we​ ​could​ ​not​ ​be​ ​more​ ​far​ apart.

All I ever want from you is for you to communicate back, to tell me what you’re thinking. Are you here or are you there? In this friendship, you can’t just have one foot in.

The funny thing is, I always say that I am officially done with you. But if you show the slightest interest, I am all yours, all over again. I guess it’s safe to say that you will always mean a lot to me. Maybe a little bit more than how much I mean to you. I shouldn’t be okay with this, but I am. And I’m so fucking mad that I can’t let go. I know that I deserve someone who is so sure of me. And yet, here I am, waiting for you.

I am filled with anger, sadness, and disappointment towards you. But never regret. Oh god no. When we do have our happy days, they’re nothing less than the best. Hate? Of course not. You’re my best friend, I adore you. I love you.

But we’re drifting apart and this time, I cannot pull you back in. No, correction, I can. But I don’t want to. I want you to choose me and not because I reached out, but because you want you to look at me as someone worth keeping. I guess we just have to ride the waves and see how this goes?

Yeah, let’s do that.

So when you finally decide that you want to talk to me again, do not expect a reply. It won’t be easy this time around.