Dating anyone can be a challenge, but a perfectionist can take things to a whole new level — for better or worse. They will think about and do things differently than most people, and it will be up to you whether or not to go along for the ride.
I AM that perfectionist.
Things need to go a certain way or I’m grumpy the rest of the day … unless something distracts me. This easily ruins the mood for anyone with me.
So what’s the best way to prevent a perfectionist from ruining your day (while still loving them for who they are)? Follow these 6 easy rules:
1. Be early! Or you’re late.
If you are not five (but really, ten) minutes early for when we planned to meet, you’re late.
Yes, the movie starts at 7:30 and we said we’d meet at 7, but being a perfectionist means we want to absolutely be ready to do things EXACTLY on time, meaning we’re going to be early. If you aren’t early, we start to get mad because you’re not taking this as seriously as we are. For the sake of the evening, be early (or at the VERY least, call to say you’ll be late).
2. Follow my plans PERFECTLY.
If I make plans and the slightest thing goes wrong, I WILL have an issue. If it’s a bigger thing, prepare for an epic meltdown.
If I have planned for a perfect trip to the movies and something goes wrong, it becomes a crisis. They run out of popcorn butter? I’m going to panic that the popcorn won’t be good enough for you without it. It’s not so much what went wrong, but what else we perceive will go wrong because of it.
And if I’m currently HAVING said meltdown…
3. Help me brainstorm a solution (from a safe distance).
If I’m having a freak-out, coming up with a solution will help; but be warned — if the idea doesn’t work out (based on the tiniest of flaws), there may be some backlash. Not the best dating situation, so you may want to find a way to remove yourself from the picture for a while.
4. Know that my obsessions will reap plenty of rewards for you.
Perfectionists are great observers of human behavior — it’s how we know what will and won’t allow us to excel. So if that movie date is for your birthday, you WILL get the present that you’ve either been longing for or fits your interests entirely. We’ll be trying for both. It’s easy to figure out that stuff when you pay attention to every tiny detail, so love us for this.
5. Understand that being perfect gives me a sense of pride.
While I must maintain my perfectionist standards towards myself, I accept any and all of your flaws that aren’t massively debilitating or harmful. In fact, I’d do my damnedest to make it seem like the most wonderful thing about you. It may even be what I love about you.
6. Love me anyway.
When I set out to do something, not only will I complete the task, but if the task falls into my skill set, it will be the best you’ve ever seen. With flashing lights and fireworks. What’s NOT to love?
Dating a perfectionist may seem like a ton of work, but really, it can be the most rewarding relationship of your life.