There are songs in this world that feel like love.
They are slowed and warm, as though they are suddenly playing inside your belly. The sound goes deeper as the butterflies inside you carry them up and down, creating a storm of uncertain warm feelings called love.
At that moment, even if you don’t have anyone in your life, you start to feel something about someone.
There are people like that, too. They feel warm even if they’re cold. Deep, even though they might be the most superficial persons in this world. Still, you see them just like you once heard the sound of that song, and you fall for them unconsciously, letting your butterflies carry their image through your brain, veins, and guts.
We don’t know for sure where love comes from, though I’m sure people have been searching for the answer long before I was born and will continue to do so long after I will be dead.
It could’ve been their touch, their smell, the gaze they once gave you through the room. But like a round white pill with a little letter on the other side of it, they hit you like a jolt of electricity, and for a little while, it makes the world seem a bit more beautiful and fulfilled than it used to be.
Suddenly, their gaze is the only thing that occupies your mind. Just like with drugs, you might understand the hurtful consequences of your poor compatibility, the pain it could cause you, and the withdrawal it would bring.
Still, you are hooked. And the very first dose of the obscure and miraculous substance that love is has already entered your brain and made you an addict.
You can pursue your feelings and prolong your satisfaction for a little while if, out of seven billion people on the planet Earth, you found the one who feels the same way about you. You can stop yourself the moment you realize the damage has been done and suffer through a painful feeling of rejection, just so you won’t have to suffer it on a larger scale once the damage is too high for your mind and soul.
Then you go through what seems to be the biggest withdrawal of your life.
It’s been one day without talking to them. Two days since you checked their social media. A week since you last saw them. A month, two, three. And all of a sudden you’re clean, a feeling that can sometimes be just as beautiful as the moment you first realize you fell in love. You finally fell out of it.
Where did it go? Was it only a matter of time before your brain washed all the butterflies away from your memory? The moment you forgot what the song that once brought you so much joy and ecstasy sounded like because it’s been too long since you’ve heard it and now… it just doesn’t matter that much.
Because there’ll be another song. Another gaze. Another butterfly. Good, bad, forbidden. And you’ll go through it again, and then again and again, until you’re lucky enough to find the gaze that didn’t go away.