5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired of Hearing

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Let’s face it: the term “introvert” often comes along with a negative connotation. Many people might imagine an introvert to be hunched in the corner of a crowded room, shuddering with social anxiety and scribbling stanzas in their Moleskin. As a textbook introvert, I understand the anxiety that comes with social encounters but I, along with many others, are able to interact like the more acceptable, “normal” human being when someone who I feel comfortable with comes along. Most of the time, that someone is rare.

Being a single introvert in this world, my friends and family love to offer their words of relationship wisdom* to help me find this someone.

After being single for a while, (um… 4 years) the advice begins to sound redundant. So, here are 5 things that single introverts are tired of hearing.

1. “You’ll never meet your soul mate hiding in your room.”

Well… dating sites exist, but that’s a different article. You can call me a little old school, but I find comfort in the thought that I’m somehow meant to meet that person one day and my decision to stay in this Friday night and watch YouTube marathons of Jaclyn Hill or finish The Girl on The Train won’t change that. And if that does somehow destroy any chance I had with love, I think whatever power that is in charge of this miraculous meeting is willing to compromise with me.

2. “Let’s go to the club! We’ll find you a boyfriend/girlfriend!”

Right, okay, so you saying that I won’t find my soul mate in my own room – I get that. But you think I will meet that person in a sweaty club? A social setting that I like to avoid at all costs? You could pull that whole “opposites attract” thing, but this isn’t even an “opposites attract” situation. This is a “we’d never cross paths if my friend didn’t force me to come out” situation. I think I’d almost rather be single than pretend to know what the hell this guy is talking about for another night. (Zuccarello? Is that a type of pasta?)

3. “Don’t overthink it. Just go up and say hi.”

Don’t… overthink… it??? Wait – do you even know how my mind works? In theory, yes, everything would be beautiful and the wind would blow through the glistening strands of my hair as I approached Mr. Nice Shoes at the bar, and he’d grasp my waist and we’d escape the crowd to slow dance into the moonlit glow… but that’s not how it works. When I even just consider approaching someone, I think of every possibility of how the situation might go. I make bullet lists of topics in my head, then subtopics, then sub-subtopics. So, when – if – I even approach someone, I’ve already imagined the beginning and end of the conversation approximately five times. So yeah, I’d love to take your advice, but that’s not how I’m wired.

4. “Just be yourself.”

Um, thanks for the great advice? I know that you’re trying to be helpful, and I appreciate that, but I am “being myself.” I’m not some kind of alien just because I enjoy wandering around the mall alone or because I’d rather scroll through the Goodreads app on my lunch break than have a half-assed conversation with someone whose name I already forgot. I’m comfortable in my solitude, and I firmly believe that someone who understands me will come along when it’s right.

5. “You can’t complain if you don’t put yourself out there.”

Have you ever even considered the fact that I might enjoy being alone? I prefer my own uninterrupted thoughts because I can actually be pretty hilarious. (Also a great dancer when I’m home alone and 7/11 comes on shuffle.) Sure, I’d enjoy some nice eye candy and a free dinner once in a while, but I’m satisfied in my own company. I’m not looking for my “other half” because I’m already whole. (Also, who doesn’t complain from time to time, Cathy???)

*Much of this wisdom was obtained through two month long relationships. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://wordsafterall.wordpress.com rants and everything nice

    Reblogged this on her words and commented:
    that be yourself bullshit

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/danielle-madgy/2015/03/6-painfully-annoying-behaviors-on-social-media-that-need-to-stop-asap/ 6 Painfully Annoying Behaviors On Social Media That Need To Stop ASAP | Thought Catalog

    […] this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 6 Power Moves Girls Need To Pull If They Want A Real […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/shelby-reep/2015/03/why-you-should-stop-looking-for-your-other-half-or-a-relationship-to-complete-you/ Why You Should Stop Looking For Your ‘Other Half’ (Or A Relationship To Complete You) | Thought Catalog

    […] this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 6 Power Moves Girls Need To Pull If They Want A Real […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/jeph-juergens/2015/03/how-mistakes-can-make-your-life-way-more-interesting/ How Mistakes Can Make Your Life Way More Interesting | Thought Catalog

    […] this: Here’s Where You Should Live Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/emma-thorn/2015/03/4-reasons-why-you-should-date-your-opposite/ 4 Reasons Why You Should Date Your Opposite | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/jessica-dentith/2015/03/to-the-nice-guy-i-shouldve-never-let-go-of/ To The Nice Guy I Should’ve Never Let Go Of | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: A Good Man Is The Most Difficult Kind Of Man To Love Read this: 5 Types Of Women Who Aren’t In Relationships And Why Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing […]

  • https://aftertasteofthoughts.wordpress.com/2015/03/03/5-things-single-introverts-are-tired-of-hearing/ 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired of Hearing | The Aftertaste of Thoughts
  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/hannah-payne/2015/03/6-things-that-arent-terribly-depressing-about-post-grad-life/ 6 Things That Aren’t Terribly Depressing About Post-Grad Life | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/roxie-reeham/2015/03/5-reasons-why-dating-the-hot-foreign-guy-actually-kind-of-sucks/ 5 Reasons Why Dating The Hot Foreign Guy Actually Kind Of Sucks | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s Apartment Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-toronto/2015/03/15-totally-boring-and-torturous-things-id-rather-do-than-hangout-with-my-ex/ 15 Totally Boring And Torturous Things I’d Rather Do Than Hangout With My Ex | Thought Catalog

    […] this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 5 Types Of Women Who Aren’t In Relationships And […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-tarkoff/2015/03/10-yoga-poses-that-are-uncomfortable-for-awkward-people-to-do-in-public/ 10 Yoga Poses That Are Uncomfortable For Awkward People To Do In Public | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/tara-mccullough/2015/03/why-college-is-not-the-place-to-find-your-soulmate/ Why College Is Not The Place To Find Your Soulmate | Thought Catalog

    […] this: An Experiment: I Went Back To My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend And This Is What Happened Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 6 Power Moves Girls Need To Pull If They Want A Real […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/victoria-keenan/2015/03/a-college-seniors-senior-crisis/ A College Senior’s Senior Crisis | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 14 Things Its Time You Forgave Yourself For Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 12 People Share Immediate Red Flags They Had On A First […]

  • http://nigeriatechnology.com/a-college-seniors-senior-crisis-2/ A College Senior’s Senior Crisis - NEWS | Phones | Nigeria Science | Technology |Computers

    […] this: 14 Things Its Time You Forgave Yourself For Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 12 People Share Immediate Red Flags They Had On A First […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/mary-kate-caserta/2015/03/the-confessions-of-a-closet-introvert/ The Confessions Of A Closet Introvert | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 12 People Share Immediate Red Flags They Had On A First Date Read this: Here’s Where You Should Live Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-tarkoff/2015/03/9-struggles-every-socially-awkward-person-faces-when-getting-their-hair-cut/ 9 Struggles Every Socially Awkward Person Faces When Getting Their Hair Cut | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 19 Struggles Only People Who Hate People Understand Read this: 15 Signs You’re Trying To Get Your Shit Together, But Like It’s Hard […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/mary-kate-caserta/2015/03/how-to-make-your-new-freshman-roommate-your-best-friend-ever/ How To Make Your New Freshman Roommate Your Best Friend Ever | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 22 Instagrams That Sum Up Ever Drunk Single Girls Life Perfectly Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 36 Guys Share Their Biggest Turn Offs In A Single Girl’s […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nikki-vee/2015/03/not-all-those-who-wander-are-lost/ Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost | Thought Catalog

    […] Better Than You Think You Are Read this: 5 Types Of Women Who Aren’t In Relationships And Why Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/bodhi-oneil/2015/04/5-ways-to-tell-youre-an-extremely-awkward-human-being-from-experience/ 5 Ways To Tell You’re An Extremely Awkward Human Being (From Experience) | Thought Catalog

    […] Someone Who Is Selectively Social Read this: 19 Struggles Only People Who Hate People Understand Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kelly-coleman/2015/04/7-things-all-people-who-are-unsure-if-they-are-introverted-or-extroverted-understand/ 7 Things All People Who Are Unsure If They Are Introverted Or Extroverted Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: Here’s Where You Should Live Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type Read this: Here’s Why You’re Still Single Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type Cataloged in […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/alexa-faye/2015/04/the-perks-of-being-single-in-your-early-20s/ The Perks Of Being Single In Your Early 20s | Thought Catalog

    […] Drunk Single Girls Life Perfectly Read this: 7 Realizations That Convinced Me Not To Have Children Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/taylor-sade/2015/04/if-i-could-have-a-conversation-with-my-social-anxiety-this-is-what-i-would-say/ If I Could Have A Conversation With My Social Anxiety This Is What I Would Say | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 7 Things Your Parents Said That You Thought Weren’t True But Totally Are Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 19 Struggles Only People Who Hate People Understand Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/roseanne-nokes/2015/04/when-you-live-your-love-life-vicariously-through-your-friends/ When You Live Your Love Life Vicariously Through Your Friends | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 22 Instagrams That Sum Up Every Drunk Single Girls Life Perfectly Read this: 12 Stages Of Getting Drunk With Your Best Friends Cataloged in […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-tarkoff/2015/04/11-uncomfortable-things-that-happen-when-you-hate-to-be-the-center-of-attention/ 11 Uncomfortable Things That Happen When You Hate To Be The Center Of Attention | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 16 Ways To Identify Someone Who Is Selectively Social Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: Here’s Where You Should Live Based On Your Myers Briggs Personality Type Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-weaver/2015/04/this-is-why-an-introvert-and-extrovert-make-the-best-couple-ever/ This Is Why An Introvert And Extrovert Make The Best Couple Ever | Thought Catalog

    […] MUST Know When Dating An Introvert Read this: 5 Reasons Introverts Are The Best At Relationships Read this: 5 Things Single Introverts Are Tired Of Hearing Read this: 19 Struggles Only People Who Hate People […]

blog comments powered by Disqus