Thought Catalog

4 Reasons Your First Love Probably Won’t Be The Person You End Up With

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Gianpaolo La Paglia

I guess everyone agrees with the fact that first love is one of the most unforgettable. However first love is always the one that got away. The one that we remember deep in our hearts, hurts us deeply or taught us lessons we never knew about love, yet is not the one that walk down the aisle with, walk hand in hand into the horizon.

1. Growing apart

We normally get to know our first love at the age of a teenager or early 20s. There we thought this is the one, the one that I want to be with forever. As time passes, we grow apart. There is nothing wrong about it because this is the age where we start to explore the world and realise what we want in life and work towards our goals. For those that share the same ideology and goals, that’s great. But for those that who do not will end up fighting all the time or just grow apart. And slowly, love fade away and this relationship has to end.

2. Seeing your worst

It is our first time falling in love, first time to manage a relationship and we are not sure of what is the right thing to do at a certain situation. We tend to react in ways that we should not, like during a fight, we tend to threaten to break up or say the most offending words we can find to hurt the other one. We still learn to manage our own emotion and finding who we are. Every time I fall in love, I learn to manage a relationship much better.

3. Not knowing what is best for us

Since it is our first time falling in love, we do not know exactly what we want, what to expect and what to hope for in a relationship. The guy we fall for might not be the type of guy compatible with us but we go ahead anyway because we have no idea what is best for us. With experience, we will know exactly what we need and want. Who says love is not trial and error. Honestly I feel every time I fall in love and out of love, I know about myself a little better and I learn to know what is best for me and my partner a little more.

4. The opportunity to explore the world

Again, normally our first love is at the age of a teenager when our world is restricted to high school, or church for some people. Those are the people we see, we know and hang out with. Most of the time these people grew up in the same town as us, our parents kind of know each other or we have so many common friends. Then there comes the chance to further our studies elsewhere, be it another town or state or overseas, or even we have decided to grab the chance to work somewhere else.

This expanded our pool or friends, meet all sorts of new people, finally get in touch with society and the exploring the world. Then we learn more about ourselves and get to know what the world has to offer. This adventure will bring us to places we did not expect, and this is the point we go separate ways with our first love because he/she needs to have their adventure.

It is not impossible that first love is the one. I used to have the fantasy that I want to marry my first love when I was a teenager. As a grew up, and when I broke up with my first love, I realised that there was so many things I do not know about myself and there are so many lessons to learn when it comes to a relationship.

Always make sure you know what want you really want for yourself and your future family before you decide this person is ‘the one’. Be it your first love or not, learn more about yourself and about love before jumping into conclusions.

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