Singletons, beware the man-child.
This certain breed of the single man is defined by a common trait: his distinct inability to grow up, though there are many supplementary signs you should see as big red flags …
There’s no romanticism behind a man who can’t fold his laundry. Don’t let pop culture or romantic dramas fool you. When a man can’t take care of himself there is absolutely nothing sexy about that. “That’s just the way he is,” and frankly that’s not okay.
You can accept that that’s the way he is without dating him and watching out for yourself, but you don’t need to put up with a man-child’s bullsh*t.
Should you discover later into a relationship that you’re dating a man-child, however, these few signs will help you call him out and address the situation.
Don’t let the man-child let you do the work for two in a relationship. He may have been coddled by his mother, but it’s not your job to coddle him now.
A real partner you can depend on will play their part. Here are a few signs you should look for:
1. You Constantly Are Picking Up After Him
Resounding “euw”s all around! Picking up after him, whether it’s his clothes, food, used condoms or something else, is pitiful. A real man picks up after himself, period. We all forget, sure, and some of us are messy, but the distinction with a man-child is how he expects you to be the one picking up and cleaning around the house. He expects to be pampered, and you are his lufa of love. Don’t clean up after him. Clean up your life and get rid of him now.
2. He’s Afraid of Commitment
The man-child doesn’t want to commit. Of course not! How could you expect that? That’s “too much to ask.” Feel free to roll your eyes as many times as you want at this point, but I can’t be held responsible if they get stuck that way. He’s never had to commit to a chore schedule, high school girlfriend, workout regimen, or something else worth talking about, likely because his mother told him nothing is his fault and the only thing he needs to be held accountable for is following his dreams. The man-child will come up with any excuse to not commit to you, and, frankly, my dear, you don’t have time for that. Get rid of him now if you haven’t after reading the number one sign.
3. You Feel Like You’ve Become his Mother
You’re not his mother. You’re his partner, and it is not your job to always be solving all of his problems. In relationships, there needs to be balance when it comes to talking out your problems and helping your partner solve their independent issues. In general, a relationship should be making you happy, but if you’re dating a man-child, you will likely find yourself frustrated the majority of the time. You may find yourself constantly frustrated by his behavior, and, even though you don’t like this part of him, you may try and excuse it because you think he’s good at sex or looks hot in jeans, but don’t be fooled! Don’t ignore the things you don’t like. Dating a man-child doesn’t make you default perfect by comparison, but when it’s time to walk away, bust out the front door and don’t look back, honey.
4. He’s Super Immature with His Friends
There’s a point of immaturity where it’s not okay anymore. When his behavior with his friends looks more like a group of middle school boys discovering pot, that cooties aren’t real, and video games are their Lord and Savior for the first time, alarms should be going off everywhere for you. If he lacks focus on the adult things you want in your relationship, that’s a red flag, too. You aren’t getting what you want from him, and that’s not okay. Sometimes guys are silly, yes, but they should be able to be serious and adults in their downtime, too. If they haven’t evolved to new levels of fun and friendship at this point in their lives (let’s say 23-24+, and I’m being generous), you need to re-evaluate. Have you gotten rid of him yet?
5. He Selfishly Applauds Himself for the Small Things and Dismisses Your Success
Remember that one time he did the dishes? You probably don’t after doing them at least forty-two times after that, but, boy, does he remember. In fact, he celebrates the day. Honey, no! Stop, stop, stop right now. Meanwhile, you may have earned a big promotion at work and he’s couch-bound celebrating something that should be expected in a relationship – equal work. Even worse, he may have done a favor for you once, like drive your little sister to school one morning, and holds it against you when you ask him to do something else. Give up his childish games. You aren’t dating a man, and, odds are, he’s not ready to date an adult like you, but “don’t tell him that” – he may cry.
Dump the man-child now. We beg you. Do it for yourself. His mom will show him how to fold laundry at some point – maybe when he’s thirty and still single, sitting on his couch amid an unclean living room that looks like a set in a Seth Rogan movie.
Boy, bye, and honey, hello to your new (better) life without him!