I have basically been through every type of relationship with every type of guy that you can be in: the long-term, comfortable one; the short fling; the “I have no idea what we are” one; and (unfortunately) the unrequited one. I have been with the football star, the guitarist in a band, the mathlete — the list goes on, and on, and…..ugh, on. So, It may be safe to say that I have learned a thing or two about the whole relationship/dating thing. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to people being in the mushiest relationship possible to the most toxic one you could imagine.
Thus, here are the top 5 things that you should remember about dating when you’re in your 20s:
5. Don’t be a bad friend by trying to be a good girlfriend.
Relationships can come and go, but your family and friends were there first. A lot of times I see my friends completely forget about the people they were hanging out with before their girlfriend or boyfriend came along. You have got to have a balance! What’s gonna happen when that guy drops you for someone else or you get tired of being around him 24/7 and miss your friends and your friends don’t wanna be around you anymore because of that shadiness? Just don’t do it.
4. Create space between each other to close space between each other.
Sometimes you just need to be alone, and it’s okay to say no if you don’t feel like hanging out one day and want to go get your nails done instead of going to watch the baseball game with him and his roommates. It’s good for the mind, good for the body — and space is GOOD. When you’re in your 20s, unless you are seriously looking to get married in the next year, there is absolutely no reason to spend every waking moment with someone. What I have found is that actually, the less time you spend with someone, the more you look forward to seeing them and the more exciting and great actually seeing them is. That is what made a 7 year relationship possible for me and I really think it’s the key to all long-term relationships.
3. Be comfortable, but not too comfortable.
This could go either way and some people may disagree with me on this, but there are some things that I just refuse to do in front of someone I am dating. Again, if you’re not looking to be married in the near future to that person, I think that some things should be sacred to yourself and only yourself. (e.g pooping). Please, dear God, close the door at least if you really must. Also, I am all for dressing down and not wearing makeup — I’m fully dressed about twice a week on a good week — but at least once in a while, try and look nice and put together just to remind your significant other that they should consider themselves lucky.
2. Find something you both love to do that is productive and does not involve watching Netflix.
You ever heard that saying that couples that exercise together, stay together? That may or may not be a real saying. Either way, I kinda think it’s true. One of my old boyfriends was a huge outdoorsy type of guy and he loved playing all types of crazy, high-adrenaline sports, which I did not like. But I compromised and we would go play basketball a couple times a week, go outside and play frisbee or go take the dogs on a walk. Anything to get the blood pumping and the endorphins rushing. You’ll have fun together and you’ll feel better and not sluggish and bored.
1. Respect yourself and NEVER make excuses for who you are.
Absolutely the most important to thing to remember, always. Never believe that you are not what they are looking for. You are MORE than what they’re looking for, because you are you. That person chose you for a reason, remember that. Ever heard that song ”Don’t go changin’….to try and please me…“? Well, don’t. Ever.